Florida Man Tries Jumping a Canal with his Corolla

corolla canal

LEE COUNTY, Fla — Lee County Sheriff Deputies say a man attempted to jump a canal with his car in a Lehigh Acres neighborhood overnight.

It happened along 7th Street West in Lehigh Acres.

Witnesses say they saw a man in a blue Toyota Corolla drive to the edge of the canal and stop. Then, he got out of the car to observe the distance, got back into the vehicle and tried to make the jump of about 20 feet.
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Florida Woman Seduces Linemen into Fixing Her Power after Irma

Kynse Agles

ABC Action News reports:

FORT MYERS, Fla. — A Florida woman got creative with spare spray paint and plywood and made a sign to get the power company’s attention.

“I thought that all of my neighbors would get a huge kick out of it,” said Kynse Agles.

She posed for a photo next to her pink sign that reads, “Hot single female seeks sexy lineman to electrify her life.”
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Two former Marines take down purse snatcher at Cape Coral Publix

Marshall Barker

CAPE CORAL, FLA – Two Good Samaritans stopped a man who tried to steal a young woman’s purse from a Cape Coral Publix.

“I mean I went up there just for a few seconds to grab some sushi,” said Zach Bucher, who lives just a few blocks away from the Publix at Camelot Isles off of Cape Coral Parkway.

Bucher and another marine chased down Marshall Barker while he was trying to flee.

“He was yelling that he didn’t do it and I was like ‘yeah right, why are you running’,” said Bucher.

The duo didn’t let Cape Coral Parkway get in the way of taking down Barker.

“We ran him down and took him down over by the Circle K,” said Bucher. Full Story »

Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up

Let's Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up
“Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up.”

Dear Floridians (and everybody else),

Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State.

After the laughter comes tears. The victims of Florida’s insanity aren’t laughing (unless they’re truly demented, which happens sometimes). We have a responsibility to improve Florida as much as we can.

WTF Florida would like to state a new mission:

We are dedicated to becoming a Karma Neutral State.

We want Florida’s karmatic number to be perfectly balanced at zero. Laughing at other people’s misery brings negative karma. Doing fucked up shit brings negative karma. Helping people who have been fucked over by Florida’s insanity brings you positive karma. We are still going to make fun of everybody who shows up on this site, but we are also going to start getting more serious about fixing stupid shit.

From this point on, we will occasionally start petitions to bring about justice, and to fix things that are unfair or that defy morals. We encourage our readers to help, not only by signing and sharing these petitions, but to also create them yourselves and to contact your representatives when appropriate. Please contact us if you have an issue that is important to you.

Send us info about your non-profit group or activism group, and we will try to get you more views (if you don’t mind being associated with us). Use the Contact page and let us know what you’re about.

All big problems start small. You can make a difference today by doing little things. Give a homeless person a bottle of water. Ask a local school what supplies they need and gift them with what you can afford. Use your fucking turn signals. The list goes on.

Help us help our state.

Let’s work together for the greater good.

Let’s make Florida slightly less fucked up.

 

 

Fort Myers Woman claims to have found an iguana leg in her pizza sauce

pizza

Imagine you’re making a pizza and as the last bit of sauce pours out of the jar, a severed iguana leg falls onto your pie.

This happened to Suzanne Abercrombie of Fort Myers, after buying a 14-ounce jar of Mantia’s pizza sauce from Save-a-Lot and using it for several days.

Abercrombie became ill after making her first pizza. She only used half the jar and never noticed the mystery ingredient inside.

She recalls:

“I got really sick, I stayed in bed and called off work.”

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