Naked Florida Man Runs into Old Lady’s House, Wears Her Clothes

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New Smyrna Beach (WTFF) – A naked man was running through the house of an 82-year-old woman and stopped to try on her clothing, police say.

Joseph Vaglica was butt naked when he walked into a garage in New Symrna beach on Tuesday morning.

The garage door led to the home of Sylvia Garmon, who experienced the shock of seeing a real-life Florida Man.
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13-Year-Old Florida Boy Kidnaps Woman and Steals Car at Gunpoint

Joyce Ellis carjacking

Lake City (WTFF) A 13-year-old boy pointed a gun at a 67-year-old woman, stole her car, and drove off with her still in the passenger seat on Halloween. He’s now facing charges of carjacking and abduction.

It all started in Lake City when Florida Boy was out trick-or-treating.

He came across Joyce Ellis at her home and asked for a ride. She said no. Florida Boy paused for a moment, smiled, and left.
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Florida Ranks Number One in the Country for Fraud

old lady phone scam

Once again, we’re in first place! …Well, at least for consumer complaints about fraud and identity theft.

Residents of the Sunshine State filed more complaints per capita about problems with debt collectors, imposter scams, telephone services and other issues, while the state ranked second with consumer complaints about ID theft, according to a new report from the Federal Trade Commission.

The Sarasota-Manatee region ranked 49th nationwide for complaints about fraud and related problems in 2016. Consumers filed 3,649 such gripes, or 475 per 100,000 residents.
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Florida Man Uses Air Gun to Protect his Curb Trash from Kids

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Saying “I run this street, not the cops,” a Tavernier man threatened two kids with an air rifle Thursday when he saw them walking down his road, police say.

James Joyce, 53, reportedly believed the youths, ages 11 and 14, were rummaging through stuff he put to the curb as trash on West Indies Road. It was about 7 p.m., according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office.

Deputy Becky Herrin said Joyce saw the kids in front of his house on the street and yelled at them to get away from his property. When they didn’t immediately leave, he went inside, retrieved what looked to the kids and neighbors like a black rifle and waved it around. Full Story »

Fire Ants Attack a Tampa Man in SUV, Causing Vehicle to Flip Over on I-10

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Fire ants are blamed for causing a Tampa man to roll his Ford Explorer last week on Interstate 10 in Madison County.

After fire ants started biting him on his legs, Louis Marino lost control. He suffered minor injuries and was taken to a local hospital.

The 85-year-old had parked the SUV in a Tampa storage area during Hurricane Irma, according to the Florida Highway Patrol. There was food stored in the rear of the vehicle. When Marino got in the SUV, he didn’t notice the ants on the driver’s side floorboard. Full Story »

Ringtones and The Villages

You haven’t seen true pandemonium until you’ve witnessed the mad fumbling of pocket and purse searching in The Villages when a default ring tone goes off.

Suddenly, accompanying the alarm, an orchestra of candy wrappers and groans create a soundtrack to the story of each person desiring to answer their phone.

Even the ones who had their grandkids update their ringtones leap out of their geriatric slumber to answer the incoming call… It could be important.

Perhaps it’s the IRS calling to verify their social security number. Maybe it’s a shipping update on that Viagra order.

The rumpus is further exaggerated as wives plead with their weary husbands to hurry up, disparaging their every effort with wrinkly contempt.

Everyone over 60 fumbles through their belongings.

Peppermint candies and Werther’s Originals scatter across the floor. Lightly crumbled tissues float away. Hands get stuck in pockets. Walkers and canes tumble. Hips are broken. Emergency rooms are inundated. Such is life in the world’s largest retirement community.