Milkshake Loss

This “I’m leaving” message was made after we posted this story: Matt Gaetz Milkshaked After Town Hall Meeting Dear Baby Boomers from New York who support Fascist policies (and anyone else who promotes bigotry, cruelty and oppression), We don’t give a fuck about you. Unlike mainstream media corporations who cater to confirmation bias and extract […] »

Limp

Florida used to be shaped like an erect penis pointing towards Morocco until all the old people moved down and made it hang limp. Cape Dementia and The Villages hold the largest concentration in the world of retired dying waste known as Baby Boomers. »

Redneck Uber

A wheelchair-bound “grandma” strapped to the cargo bed of a pickup truck was caught on video by a Floridian from Tampa. An old man was driving. There were no other passengers. UPDATE: The “grandma” may in fact be a man. Note the goatee. Then again, grandma whiskers are a thing. But whatever. It’s 2018. Genders […] »

The Villages

The Villages is the world’s largest retirement community, spanning 3 counties in the middle of Florida. They drive golf carts everywhere, from Publix to the doctor to any place that sells alcohol. Happy hour goes on all day, every day. They line dance, twerk, party and get drunk every night on the three main squares […] »

People from Michigan

meme-trump-michigan
When Michigan sends its people to Florida, they’re not sending the best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems. They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime. They’re rapists and some, I assume, are good people, but I speak to Floridians and they’re telling us what we’re getting. -WTF Florida Disclaimer […] »

13-Year-Old Florida Boy Kidnaps Woman and Steals Car at Gunpoint

Joyce Ellis carjacking
Lake City (WTFF) A 13-year-old boy pointed a gun at a 67-year-old woman, stole her car, and drove off with her still in the passenger seat on Halloween. He’s now facing charges of carjacking and abduction. It all started in Lake City when Florida Boy was out trick-or-treating. He came across Joyce Ellis at her […] »

Florida Ranks Number One in the Country for Fraud

old lady phone scam
Once again, we’re in first place! …Well, at least for consumer complaints about fraud and identity theft. Residents of the Sunshine State filed more complaints per capita about problems with debt collectors, imposter scams, telephone services and other issues, while the state ranked second with consumer complaints about ID theft, according to a new report […] »