You haven’t seen true pandemonium until you’ve witnessed the mad fumbling of pocket and purse searching in The Villages when a default ring tone goes off.
Suddenly, accompanying the alarm, an orchestra of candy wrappers and groans create a soundtrack to the story of each person desiring to answer their phone.
Even the ones who had their grandkids update their ringtones leap out of their geriatric slumber to answer the incoming call… It could be important.
Perhaps it’s the IRS calling to verify their social security number. Maybe it’s a shipping update on that Viagra order.
The rumpus is further exaggerated as wives plead with their weary husbands to hurry up, disparaging their every effort with wrinkly contempt.
Everyone over 60 fumbles through their belongings.
Peppermint candies and Werther’s Originals scatter across the floor. Lightly crumbled tissues float away. Hands get stuck in pockets. Walkers and canes tumble. Hips are broken. Emergency rooms are inundated. Such is life in the world’s largest retirement community.