Stolen Bacon Leads to an Altercation in Waffle House

Nothing sane ever happens in a Waffle House, it’s basically just a place where people go to sober up via carbs. Nothing proper ever happens in North Florida, it’s basically just lower Alabama. So, when you combine these two forces, they reverse polarity and create something amazing…

Take for instance, this drunk 28-year-old man in Okaloosa County.

He was at a Destin Waffle House, and reached over to the plate of a guest, snatching her bacon and eating it right in front of her.
Full Story »

Florida Man Causes $100,000 Of Damage To Liquor Store Construction Site

Mathew Horace Jones

CRESTVIEW, Florida (WKRG) — According to Crestview police, a 32-year old Freeport man is in custody following a Saturday night rampage.

The rampage caused more than $100,000 in damage to the liquor store under construction at the Crestview Wal-mart and to construction equipment.

Around 9:10 p.m. the suspect, Mathew Horace Jones, used a forklift to damage the building under construction. Full Story »

Florida Man Brings an Umbrella to a Gun Fight at Fort Walton Beach

umbrella-beach

FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. (WKRG) — A Florida Man used a beach umbrella to hit another Florida Man who brought a gun to the beach, and it was all caught on camera.

“This is what happens when you bring an umbrella to a gun fight,” wrote Wes Woodin in a post online.

Apparently, the man with the gun had gotten into an argument Monday with a group on the beach over a child’s toy.

“It was over a $2 inflatable octopus, and I guess he had gone under their tent and taken it,” Woodin told News 5. Full Story »

Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up

Let's Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up
“Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up.”

Dear Floridians (and everybody else),

Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State.

After the laughter comes tears. The victims of Florida’s insanity aren’t laughing (unless they’re truly demented, which happens sometimes). We have a responsibility to improve Florida as much as we can.

WTF Florida would like to state a new mission:

We are dedicated to becoming a Karma Neutral State.

We want Florida’s karmatic number to be perfectly balanced at zero. Laughing at other people’s misery brings negative karma. Doing fucked up shit brings negative karma. Helping people who have been fucked over by Florida’s insanity brings you positive karma. We are still going to make fun of everybody who shows up on this site, but we are also going to start getting more serious about fixing stupid shit.

From this point on, we will occasionally start petitions to bring about justice, and to fix things that are unfair or that defy morals. We encourage our readers to help, not only by signing and sharing these petitions, but to also create them yourselves and to contact your representatives when appropriate. Please contact us if you have an issue that is important to you.

Send us info about your non-profit group or activism group, and we will try to get you more views (if you don’t mind being associated with us). Use the Contact page and let us know what you’re about.

All big problems start small. You can make a difference today by doing little things. Give a homeless person a bottle of water. Ask a local school what supplies they need and gift them with what you can afford. Use your fucking turn signals. The list goes on.

Help us help our state.

Let’s work together for the greater good.

Let’s make Florida slightly less fucked up.

 

 

Valparaiso man charged with sexually molesting horse

VALPARAISO — A 26-year-old Valparaiso man is facing multiple charges in connection with the molestation of a horse.

Darius Galloway of Okaloosa Avenue is charged with sexual activities involving animals, burglary of an unoccupied structure and petit theft. Burglary is a felony, while the two other charges are misdemeanors.

According to an arrest report from the Valparaiso Police Department, on April 25, the owner of Athena, a female horse that boards at a stable on Valparaiso Parkway, noticed oil on the horse’s rump. On June 20, the owner again observed oil on the horse, as well as a visible handprint in the oil.

A week later, on June 27, the horse’s owner notified the owner of the stable that she had again noticed oil on the equine’s rump, as well as a white substance she believed to be semen on the horse’s vagina, the report said. A trail camera was set up in the stable as a result. Full Story »

Florida Woman grabs deputy’s crotch, won’t let go

cop-outfit

CRESTVIEW – A woman who grabbed a deputy’s crotch and refused to let go was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer and simple assault.

The 35-year-old Crestview woman, whose house was too cluttered to allow officers to enter safely, also armed herself with a hammer before coming out of the house.

Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputies had gone to the home on Sandy Lane after getting a report about a disturbance.

The suspect was in her bedroom, but deputies noted that “excessive clutter” kept them from going in. Full Story »

Floridians For Freedom

fff-smokey

Only the “Right Of Adults To Cannabis” amendment can secure your RIGHT to possess, cultivate, and use cannabis in a manner similar to your 2nd amendment right to “keep and bear arms” … think about that for a minute.

Whether you agree or disagree with Americans right to gun ownership, the strength of this protected right is clear and viewed my many as absolute. Floridians For Freedom​ believes adults right to whole plant cannabis should be comparable and hopes you agree. Full Story »