The Villages (WTFF) – Deputies arrested a Villager who violated a DUI probation originating in Sumter County. Full Story »
(WTFF) – Put on extra pairs of socks before you step into your sandals this week, because Florida’s gonna get really f*cking cold and we’re all gonna die*. Full Story »
Wildwood (WTFF) – Two brothers were arrested after they started brawling over one of their girlfriends who was staying at their residence. Full Story »
Imagine you book a hotel in Bushnell. Ignore the obvious logical fallacy here, we know that nobody in their right mind would ever want to spend the night in Sumter County, but that’s beyond the scope of this article.
It’s 3 in the morning, and you wake up to a strange noise.
Full Story »
The Lady Lake man accused of drowning his 18-month-old daughter on Monday told his wife that he killed their child because she was divorcing him, according to an arrest affidavit.
Lake County deputies went to Jeremy Main’s home on Redbud Road in Lady Lake on Monday morning and found the toddler dead in the bathtub.
The Lake County Sheriff’s Office said it responded to the house after police in Ocala received a call from Main’s wife, who told them that her husband had just called and told her that he killed their child.
Full Story »
You haven’t seen true pandemonium until you’ve witnessed the mad fumbling of pocket and purse searching in The Villages when a default ring tone goes off.
Suddenly, accompanying the alarm, an orchestra of candy wrappers and groans create a soundtrack to the story of each person desiring to answer their phone.
Even the ones who had their grandkids update their ringtones leap out of their geriatric slumber to answer the incoming call… It could be important.
Perhaps it’s the IRS calling to verify their social security number. Maybe it’s a shipping update on that Viagra order.
The rumpus is further exaggerated as wives plead with their weary husbands to hurry up, disparaging their every effort with wrinkly contempt.
Everyone over 60 fumbles through their belongings.
Peppermint candies and Werther’s Originals scatter across the floor. Lightly crumbled tissues float away. Hands get stuck in pockets. Walkers and canes tumble. Hips are broken. Emergency rooms are inundated. Such is life in the world’s largest retirement community.
A Florida man who was stopped for driving his golf cart erratically told a deputy he couldn’t pass field sobriety tests if he were sober. Full Story »
Dear Floridians (and everybody else),
Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State.
After the laughter comes tears. The victims of Florida’s insanity aren’t laughing (unless they’re truly demented, which happens sometimes). We have a responsibility to improve Florida as much as we can.
WTF Florida would like to state a new mission:
We are dedicated to becoming a Karma Neutral State.
We want Florida’s karmatic number to be perfectly balanced at zero. Laughing at other people’s misery brings negative karma. Doing fucked up shit brings negative karma. Helping people who have been fucked over by Florida’s insanity brings you positive karma. We are still going to make fun of everybody who shows up on this site, but we are also going to start getting more serious about fixing stupid shit.
From this point on, we will occasionally start petitions to bring about justice, and to fix things that are unfair or that defy morals. We encourage our readers to help, not only by signing and sharing these petitions, but to also create them yourselves and to contact your representatives when appropriate. Please contact us if you have an issue that is important to you.
Send us info about your non-profit group or activism group, and we will try to get you more views (if you don’t mind being associated with us). Use the Contact page and let us know what you’re about.
All big problems start small. You can make a difference today by doing little things. Give a homeless person a bottle of water. Ask a local school what supplies they need and gift them with what you can afford. Use your fucking turn signals. The list goes on.
Help us help our state.
Let’s work together for the greater good.
Let’s make Florida slightly less fucked up.
Only the “Right Of Adults To Cannabis” amendment can secure your RIGHT to possess, cultivate, and use cannabis in a manner similar to your 2nd amendment right to “keep and bear arms” … think about that for a minute.
Whether you agree or disagree with Americans right to gun ownership, the strength of this protected right is clear and viewed my many as absolute. Floridians For Freedom believes adults right to whole plant cannabis should be comparable and hopes you agree. Full Story »
It’s the middle of the night in the Village of Buttonwood. Most of the retirees are sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware that a naked man is running around outside… Full Story »