Florida Woman drunkenly bites man’s fishing line at St. Johns County pier

Alexandria Turner

St. Johns County deputies arrested a woman after she bit a man’s fishing line and swam off with his lure, according to a police report.

Deputies were called to the St. Johns County Pier on Tuesday at approximately 6 p.m.

A fisherman told deputies that 22-year-old Alexandria Turner appeared to be intoxicated when she swam up to his fishing line and cursed him out.

She bit the line and swam away with the rigging, according to the police report.

When deputies asked Turner to come to the pier office where the fisherman had rented the pole, she became belligerent and refused to walk inside, the report said.

Deputies said Turner began creating a scene and upsetting the “sense of public norm at the pier” when they tried to take her into protective custody.

It was all pretty normal for Florida, up until that point. We hate seeing our people get arrested for silly things.

She refused to let deputies handcuff her and screamed, “I’m (expletive) naked!” several times, the report said.

Deputies arrested Turner on suspicion of disorderly intoxication and resisting arrest without violence. Full Story »

Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up

Let's Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up
“Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up.”

Dear Floridians (and everybody else),

Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State.

After the laughter comes tears. The victims of Florida’s insanity aren’t laughing (unless they’re truly demented, which happens sometimes). We have a responsibility to improve Florida as much as we can.

WTF Florida would like to state a new mission:

We are dedicated to becoming a Karma Neutral State.

We want Florida’s karmatic number to be perfectly balanced at zero. Laughing at other people’s misery brings negative karma. Doing fucked up shit brings negative karma. Helping people who have been fucked over by Florida’s insanity brings you positive karma. We are still going to make fun of everybody who shows up on this site, but we are also going to start getting more serious about fixing stupid shit.

From this point on, we will occasionally start petitions to bring about justice, and to fix things that are unfair or that defy morals. We encourage our readers to help, not only by signing and sharing these petitions, but to also create them yourselves and to contact your representatives when appropriate. Please contact us if you have an issue that is important to you.

Send us info about your non-profit group or activism group, and we will try to get you more views (if you don’t mind being associated with us). Use the Contact page and let us know what you’re about.

All big problems start small. You can make a difference today by doing little things. Give a homeless person a bottle of water. Ask a local school what supplies they need and gift them with what you can afford. Use your fucking turn signals. The list goes on.

Help us help our state.

Let’s work together for the greater good.

Let’s make Florida slightly less fucked up.

 

 

Floridians For Freedom

fff-smokey

Only the “Right Of Adults To Cannabis” amendment can secure your RIGHT to possess, cultivate, and use cannabis in a manner similar to your 2nd amendment right to “keep and bear arms” … think about that for a minute.

Whether you agree or disagree with Americans right to gun ownership, the strength of this protected right is clear and viewed my many as absolute. Floridians For Freedom​ believes adults right to whole plant cannabis should be comparable and hopes you agree. Full Story »

Florida man punches drive-through employee over cold fries

A St. Augustine man is behind bars after fighting with a Steak ‘n Shake employee over cold fries and punching her through a drive-thru window early Thursday morning, deputies say.

Tavares Jones, 25, faces a misdemeanor battery charge after becoming angry when he was served allegedly cold fries and was called a racial epithet by the store employee, says an offense report from the St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office.

Jones told deputies when he called them he demanded new fries and some ketchup from the employee before throwing the fries back at her, the report says. Full Story »

Florida Man is in jail after recording himself having sex with a puppy

This Florida Man had sex with a puppy and filmed it.

Billy Joseph-Edward Taylor is a 25 year old Florida Man. He thought it would be a good idea to email his own personal sex tape to his girlfriend, I guess to turn her on or whatever Florida couples do, but in any case:

The video featured Billy Joseph-Edward-I-have-too-many-names Taylor having sexual contact with a young pit bull.

They broke up later and she turned him in out of spite. There exists a $10,000 bond for anyone disgusting enough to release this Florida Man.

He had been arrested twice before this, but only over stealing some rings to fund his dreams of becoming a tattoo artist

WTF Florida?

 

Sources:

https://www.news965.com/news/news/local/florida-man-arrested-recording-himself-having-sex-/nn34X/

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/florida-man-arrested-recording-sex-puppy-article-1.2399025

Florida man steals $246 worth of steaks, runs into woods to escape Publix employee

Adam Barber

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. – Call him the ‘Beef Bandit.’

A 33-year-old St. Johns County man was arrested after running out of a Publix on Tuesday. He was charged with walking out with $246 of steaks.

According to SJCO, Adam Barber entered the Publix at Mission Trace off State Route 16 around 7 p.m. In the police report, Barber proceeded “made a direct path toward the meat department and selected several steaks before exiting the store.”

Barber is in jail on $1,500 bond.

“I don’t understand why they would want to do that, I don’t know why you would need $200 worth of steak in the first place,” said local Morgan Miller.

Employees saw Barber leave the store without paying, and when confronted, Barber tried to get away in a vehicle, which was occupied by two other men. Publix employees blocked the vehicle, and Barber then threw the steaks on the ground and ran into the woods. Barber, wearing flip-flips, was seen running on Four Mile Road and was quickly apprehended.

The car’s other occupants, Michael Mahoney and Wayne Manning, remained at the scene and told police that Barber was the one who had stolen the steaks. Barber was taken back to the scene, where Publix employee made a positive ID as the subject who had stolen the steaks.

The incident inside the store was recorded on video, which was turned over to the SJCO.

Source: actionnewsjax.com