Panama City Police Called on Sisters Arguing about Toilet Paper

over under toilet paper

Last week, deputies were called to a home on Cluster Road over a verbal disturbance.

They arrived and spoke to a man and his two sisters.

The girls had been fighting about the correct method of mounting the toilet paper. One said over, the other said under. The disagreement become loud, and disturbed the neighbors enough to call the police.
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Drunk Florida Man Opens Fire on Target Shooting Neighbors

Guns on top of guns… here’s a story that exemplifies North Florida perfectly…

Fountain is a tiny little hick town in Bay County, where quality family time is often spent shooting things.

From varmints to cans to hay stacks, there’s a whole slew of exciting objects to practice your marksmanship on while soaking up the hot Florida sun.

One family was fulfilling this incredibly accurate stereotype, by doing just that over the weekend. Full Story »

Panhandle Man masturbates at Panama City Beach wearing a ‘Be Free’ shirt.

Jason Glenn Bloutwell

Where do people from Georgia come to vacation? Well, the panhandle of course. It’s still the south, but with way better beaches. They can feel right at home surrounded by confederate battle flags and high school drop outs.

An off duty cop from the Peach State brought his wife to Panama City Beach for a vacation, as many do.

They were not familiar though, with our culture.

You see, in Florida it’s totally normal to pull your dick out in public and start masturbating furiously.

When they both spotted Jason Glenn Bloutwell, 41 years of age, doing just that, they both freaked out and called the cops.

He was proudly fapping at the City Pier parking lot on Front Beach Road around 3:00 on a sunny afternoon.

Panama City Beach Police took Bloutwell into custody where he confessed to committing the crime, and was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition. He has been transported to the Bay County Jail where he awaits his first appearance.

Source: mypanhandle.com

Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up

Let's Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up
“Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up.”

Dear Floridians (and everybody else),

Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State.

After the laughter comes tears. The victims of Florida’s insanity aren’t laughing (unless they’re truly demented, which happens sometimes). We have a responsibility to improve Florida as much as we can.

WTF Florida would like to state a new mission:

We are dedicated to becoming a Karma Neutral State.

We want Florida’s karmatic number to be perfectly balanced at zero. Laughing at other people’s misery brings negative karma. Doing fucked up shit brings negative karma. Helping people who have been fucked over by Florida’s insanity brings you positive karma. We are still going to make fun of everybody who shows up on this site, but we are also going to start getting more serious about fixing stupid shit.

From this point on, we will occasionally start petitions to bring about justice, and to fix things that are unfair or that defy morals. We encourage our readers to help, not only by signing and sharing these petitions, but to also create them yourselves and to contact your representatives when appropriate. Please contact us if you have an issue that is important to you.

Send us info about your non-profit group or activism group, and we will try to get you more views (if you don’t mind being associated with us). Use the Contact page and let us know what you’re about.

All big problems start small. You can make a difference today by doing little things. Give a homeless person a bottle of water. Ask a local school what supplies they need and gift them with what you can afford. Use your fucking turn signals. The list goes on.

Help us help our state.

Let’s work together for the greater good.

Let’s make Florida slightly less fucked up.

 

 

Floridians For Freedom

fff-smokey

Only the “Right Of Adults To Cannabis” amendment can secure your RIGHT to possess, cultivate, and use cannabis in a manner similar to your 2nd amendment right to “keep and bear arms” … think about that for a minute.

Whether you agree or disagree with Americans right to gun ownership, the strength of this protected right is clear and viewed my many as absolute. Floridians For Freedom​ believes adults right to whole plant cannabis should be comparable and hopes you agree. Full Story »

Group of 80 People at Panama City Beach Form a Human Chain to Save a Drowning Family

chain-save-drowing-family

Beachgoers formed a human chain near the M.B. Miller County Pier on Saturday afternoon off Panama City Beach, Florida, to rescue nine swimmers who were drowning. [The News Herald]

Apparently some people from Alabama knew about disaster recovery because of tornadoes, and upon seeing distressed beach-goers, Jessica Simmons thought:

“These people are not drowning today. It’s not happening. We’re going to get them out.”

She dove in to save the Florida People. Her husband got to work on gathering beach-goers to help him form a human chain, interlocked on a unique rescue mission.

The News Herald reports that as Jessica Simmons paddled, the human chain grew, with 80 people stretching over 100 yards out to the distressed swimmers. Some of them couldn’t swim, Simmons said, but wanted to help and stayed in the shallows. Others stood in water up to their necks, waiting for Simmons and her husband to cover the last few feet so they could pass the swimmers to shore.

“It was the most remarkable thing to see,” Simmons said. “These people who don’t even know each other and they trust each other that much to get them to safety.”

The Florida family was saved by all these brave people. Nobody died, but there were a few injuries.

“I am so grateful,” Ursrey said. “These people were God’s angels that were in the right place at the right time. I owe my life and my family’s life to them. Without them, we wouldn’t be here.”

If you have any extra money around (and you know you do, and you know what the right thing to do is), you should make a donation to the family on their GoFundMe page.

Looking back, Simmons said it wasn’t so much about what she did to help rescue the family, but everyone dropping what they were doing to help.

“It’s so cool to see how we have our own lives and we’re constantly at a fast pace, but when somebody needs help, everybody drops everything and helps,” Simmons said. “That was really inspiring to see that we still have that.

She added:

“With everything going on in the world, we still have humanity.”

Florida man accused of stealing neighbor’s underwear, leaving others he wanted her to wear

Isitro Sanches

PANAMA CITY — A Bay County man has been arrested after he allegedly broke into a woman’s vehicle and home to leave underwear he wanted her to wear, according to arrest reports.

Isitro Sanches, 58, was charged Wednesday with stalking, three counts of burglary of an unoccupied dwelling and a count of burglary of an occupied dwelling.

The Bay County Sheriff’s Office initially responded in January to a stalking complaint.
The victim complained of finding ladies’ underwear left in her unlocked vehicle and at her home on the railing on the front porch. Handwritten notes to the victim were left with the underwear.

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