Blue Balls

Public service announcement to all the young, naïve girls dating a Florida Man: Nobody really dies from blue balls. They’re just trying to guilt you into having sex. The sperm does not “crawl into the brain” or anything like that, as they will try to make you believe. Yes, someone actually said that once. »

Bella Vista Baptist Church

bella vista baptist church
A church in Edgewater had to change their sign about forgiveness after it was mistaken for a sexual innuendo. “We apologize if anyone was offended,” officials from the church wrote, according to »

Florida school district picks abstinence-only center to provide sex education

edumacation education
A Florida school district has signed on with an abstinence-only center to provide sex education — or, rather, “relationship education” — to teens, replacing curriculum that had been informed by the Florida Department of Health. The Santa Rosa County School District has decided to have the Pregnancy Resource Center in Milton, Fla., provide sex education […] »

Florida Doctor texts his patient ‘You need a sugar daddy’

ely pelta
Doctors in Florida aren’t too bright. Ely Pelta, who used to be a psychiatrist, proves our point… and gets his license suspended in the same motion. Instead of doing what most lonely people with money do and rent hookers, he decided to be a creep. He suggested to a brand new patient, via text, that […] »

STD Rates in Florida

Florida Counties by STD Rate: Total Gonorrhea, Chlamydia & Infectious Syphilis, 2015 * – Indicates the county rate is statistically significantly different from the statewide rate. Sorted by Rate from highest to lowest. »

Tampa Man Escaping Irma Gets Arrested for Lewdness in Massachusetts

Salem Police
Trampites are a peculiar species. Here in Florida, we just get used to their antics. We smile and nod as they describe their disturbing sexual escapades. We adapt to their unpredictability; from their avoidance of using turn signals to their random public masturbation, we find ways to safely share the beautiful state of Florida with […] »