Hobe Sound (WTFF) – Florida Woman was arrested by Martin County Sheriff’s deputies after she attacked a woman that was dancing suggestively on her fiancé. Full Story »
Stuart (WTFF) – A man was arrested after pulling his penis out and rubbing it on a customer, smacking the buttocks of a dancer with his saliva-covered hand, and trying to smash through a glass door. Full Story »
(WTFF) – Put on extra pairs of socks before you step into your sandals this week, because Florida’s gonna get really f*cking cold and we’re all gonna die*. Full Story »
A Stuart man called 911 to request that a “law officer” visit Crabby’s Seafood Shack in regards to their “extremely” small clams. Full Story »
Stuart (WTFF) – A homeless Florida man allegedly asked an officer if he wanted to share a joint.
Anthony D. Rocha, age 48, was going about his day like most Floridians; getting high and going to Publix.
Full Story »
Indiantown (WTFF) – A man trespassing and taking a nap in someone’s yard was arrested after swinging a dildo at cops.
Full Story »
Stuart, FL (WTFF) — A New Jersey woman wearing a hospital gown in the streets was arrested in Stuart, FL on a breach of peace charge.
Just as the east and west coast bring in trash from the ocean, the northern border brings in trash from the rest of America.
Gloria Havens is a 60-year-old woman from New Jersey, and given her belligerence, can safely be lumped into that latter group of trash.
She was hanging out on Southeast Isabelita Avenue when her New Joysey sloppiness erupted.
Full Story »
STUART, Fla. – A woman in Stuart, Florida, is wanted by police for allegedly scamming multiple restaurants for free meals, saying she found shards of glass in her food. Full Story »
STUART — A woman accused of exposing herself before arguing about mail got locked up on a breach of peace charge, according to a Martin County Sheriff’s Office report.
Jamie Lynn Elmerick, 26, was jailed following the July 10 incident in Stuart that “outraged and horrified” her father, the report states.
Elmerick told investigators her boyfriend dropped her off at her father’s house to get some clothes that she left after moving out months earlier. She said she went to the mail box to get her mail, and her father took the mail from her hand. She said she called 911 to get it back.
Elmerick’s father, however, said Elmerick came over unannounced. He said he let her in to get her clothes “because she had broken into his home in the past and did not want her to do so again,” the report states.
He said she started yelling about family issues before dropping her pants and exposing herself to him and another man.
“(Elmerick’s father) stated he was outraged and horrified that his daughter exposed herself and had to look away because he was embarrassed by the display,” the report states.
A purpose behind the alleged showing of Elmerick’s nether regions was not listed.
Elmerick’s father said she pulled up her pants and they began quarreling about the mail.
Another man there also said Elmerick exposed herself, and that he “was disturbed and horrified that she was exposing herself like that.”
Elmerick, of Okeechobee, was arrested on a misdemeanor breach of peace charge.
Dear Floridians (and everybody else),
Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State.
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We want Florida’s karmatic number to be perfectly balanced at zero. Laughing at other people’s misery brings negative karma. Doing fucked up shit brings negative karma. Helping people who have been fucked over by Florida’s insanity brings you positive karma. We are still going to make fun of everybody who shows up on this site, but we are also going to start getting more serious about fixing stupid shit.
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