Reality and The News

Everything that enters your mind through your sensory inputs is bullshit. Reality and interpretation of reality are never the same thing. Media predominantly confuses and exploits the basic fact that our perception is limited and prone to emotional bias. News is just click-bait, except for the rare article that’s written to enlighten, encourage, and educate, rather than disturb, shock, and confuse. We’re guilty of it too, but we just do it for shits and giggles, and because Florida deserves a WTFF News (for good and bad reasons). This has been a public service announcement.

Pointing Versus Turn Signals

ATTENTION TOURISTS: If you see a Floridian pointing outside of their vehicle and giving you puppy dog eyes, they’re most likely asking if they can move their vehicle in front of yours. Yes, it would make more sense to use a turn signal, and that is the law, but this is Florida. Just go with the flow. Let them in. This is a public service announcement brought to you by WTFF News: Florida’s best worst news site.

Cannabis Laws

The laws regarding cannabis are completely archaic and absurd. They were founded in ignorance, fear, greed, and hatred, rather than research, understanding, fairness, and respect. That being said, it’s not the fault of the police that the herb is illegal. Don’t hate them for it. They’re just doing their job, and over half of them probably agree with our sentiment (but won’t outwardly say it). Don’t fucking drive around with expired tags while smoking loud. Don’t hang out in parking lots rolling blunts in broad daylight. Don’t be obvious. Don’t be stupid. It breaks our Floridian hearts to see how often people get arrested for a tiny bit of marijuana… cars impounded, work interfered with, families disturbed, debt arising… it’s tragic and senseless. One day we will fix our laws regarding cannabis. Until then, just don’t be so fucking obvious with it, OK? This is a public service announcement brought to you by WTFF News. Full Story »

Politics versus Ethics

As a result of sifting through countless arrest affidavits and living in Florida, we are very familiar with suffering, which is a result of greed, hatred, and delusion. Occasionally our page will support movements in Florida that aim to lessen the amount of suffering in our world. Some people accuse us of being “political.” We don’t take sides. The whole left and right divide is at best a distraction. Federal indictments show that outside influences spent millions to further the divide, as they continue to do with “trolling.” Don’t take the bait.

If you have replaced your humanity with political loyalty, then you may not like what we post here. Kindly leave us in peace. For the rest of you who actually care about Floridians (and non-Floridians), we welcome you here. This is a place for everyone. From rednecks to thugs to conservatives to liberals to gun nuts to hippies, we all are one. All the labels blend together to form humans, and many of us fall into several if not all of those categories. Florida’s a very diverse place, and that’s what makes it so amazing. Don’t let polytricks distract and divide us.

The Florida Man Facebook page wrote an excellent note about politics versus ethics, which we are quoting below:

Ethics versus politics

Because I’m seeing some confusion:

Disagreeing about the most effective way to provide food for hungry kids is “politics.”

Disagreeing about whether or not hungry kids should be fed at all is “ethics.”

Disagreeing about the most effective, safe, and humane ways to provide aid and shelter to refugees is politics.

Disagreeing about whether or not we should help people fleeing violence and oppression at all is ethics.

Disagreeing about what’s the most effective and efficient way of providing healthcare to everyone who needs it is politics.

Disagreeing about whether or not we should let poor people suffer and die because they lack the ability to pay for healthcare is ethics.

I could go on (and feel free to share your own examples).

I’m not getting too invested in a “political discussion,” or unfairly discriminating against you because of your “political beliefs.”

I’m reacting with the appropriate level of horror, anger, and sadness one feels when encountering a person whose ethics are so warped and rapacious that any decent human being would be disgusted, and even genuinely frightened.

I’m not taking politics “too personally.” You’re not taking the the massive violations of basic human rights, and the suffering of real thinking, feeling people, personally *enough*.

Tallahassee, The Capital of Florida

My name is Tallahassee
a’on know about y’all,
but I’m real damn proud
Of my cock and my balls.

The capital of Florida,
America’s wang,
got some Antebellum babies
that became unchained.

Most of us are meth heads,
hidin’ in the woods,
all the dang northeasterners
ruined our moods…

All state laws
pass through my city,
Ah like ’em even more
if you think they’re shitty.