Trip Patrol

There should be a serious constitutional amendment to legalize all drugs. Take the role away from cops so they can focus on violent crimes. Create a “trip patrol” who come equipped with mental health training to talk down “bad trips” but with a few backups who can tackle drunk people and PCP users if needed. […] »

Destroy Each Other

We received a “must-run message” from our “friends” over at Sinclair Media. We don’t approve of this message, but they’re heavily armed and already shot a few of our best reporters for dissenting, so here it is: Democrats and Republicans must remain mortal enemies. Do everything in your power to destroy each other. Conservatives, do […] »

Republicans in 2018

Republicans are brainwashed. They don’t know how to decipher between facts and lies. Republicans are willfully ignorant and intellectually lazy. Even when they are told the truth, they don’t care and refuse to look it up. If any of them had half a brain, they would know that Trump is a Populist Authoritarian. And just […] »

How to Spot a Shill Account

“Shill accounts” are common on social media. They’re created and moderated by modern influence campaign employees, “shills,” who spread misinformation and strong view points in order to manipulate the actions of humans. We’re social creatures. When we see some “normal, average, real” person that kind of looks, thinks, and acts like us, we tend to […] »

To those who say it’s ‘just natural red tide’

It’s more than just “red tide,” a naturally-occurring microscopic alga that has been documented along Florida’s Gulf Coast since the 1840’s. Floridians are upset about the overall treatment of our environment. Mainstream media tends to downplay the effect of dumping phosphorus-laden pollutants into our ecological water system. Water moves freely along the peninsula, carrying all its […] »

Political Promises

Hi, I’m almost every political candidate, and I promise to: ✅ Pander to my base with rhetorical phrases and uplifting but empty promises. ✅ Make you fight to keep your constitutional rights. ✅ Blame the other side. ✅ Find what pisses you off and run ads about how I’m going to change those things. ✅ […] »

Big Sugar

The massive, toxic algae bloom currently swirling around the peninsula of Florida has its origins in an ongoing cycle of political manipulations, kickbacks, loosening of environmental and water regulations, an aging water-transfer infrastructure in and around Lake Okeechobee, and a Governor in the pocket of Big Sugar. It all adds up to one vicious chain, […] »

Political Propaganda

We officially endorse that one dude who’s always chillaxing outside of liquor stores telling funny stories. We also endorse Florida Woman, who doesn’t take any shit from anyone. Political propaganda will be in full swing again very soon. Corrupt politicians will go on TV and ironically tell you that “many politicians are corrupt,” to make […] »

Secede July 16, 2018

We, the people of the State of Florida in Convention assembled, do solemnly ordain, publish and declare: That the State of Florida hereby withdraws herself from the country existing under the name of the United States of America, and from the existing Government of said country. July 16, 2018 »

You’re going to boycott Publix?

Written by: Michael McCombs via internet post. In response to this article: Publix Engages in Memetic Warfare – So let me get this correct, you’re going to boycott Publix because they contributed $310,000 to Adam Putnam? Well guess you are also going to boycott Disney World, they donated directly to Adam Putnam too. Also, time to boycott Universal […] »

Politics versus Ethics

As a result of sifting through countless arrest affidavits and living in Florida, we are very familiar with suffering, which is a result of greed, hatred, and delusion. Occasionally our page will support movements in Florida that aim to lessen the amount of suffering in our world. Some people accuse us of being “political.” We […] »