‘Wet Willy’ Attack puts Florida Man in Jail

Fort Pierce (WTFF) – A Florida man was arrested after reportedly giving his girlfriend a “wet willy.”

47-year-old Joseph Sireci is facing a battery charge for the Aug. 15 “wet willy” attack, according to an arrest affidavit collected by TC Palm.

The girlfriend told St. Lucie County sheriff’s that Sireci was drunk on the living room floor when she got home from work.

She grabbed her daughter and her boyfriend and went to another home, where the Florida Man “continued to drink and be belligerent,” according to the arrest report.

While going home, she told police that Sireci grabbed her and pulled her arm.

He “continued by giving her a ‘wet willy’ sticking his finger in her ear.”

The daughter confirmed what happened.

Sireci said he wasn’t drunk, but refused to give a written statement.

Old Media went ape over this story. It’s not every day that domestic abuse is funny. An arrest affidavit that mentions a “wet willy” is a glorious click-bait ingredient.

Collecting the shekels, MSM bringing you the important news

Florida Man F*cks Dolphin, Stars in Documentary

Back in the 70’s a Florida man fell in love with a dolphin named Dolly.

Malcolm Brenner described the experience as “almost spiritual” in a VICE article. He met the dolphin on a freelance photography assignment at Floridaland, a theme park in Sarasota. Back then he was a student at the New College of Florida.

Dolly caught his attention, and reportedly floated over to Brenner and “flipped over to present her genital slit.” He described how the dolphin then rubbed her teeth on him “in an erotic way.”

“Female dolphins are very assertive about their sexuality,” said Brenner to the VICE reporter.

Dolly the dolphin was trained to ride along this boat and jump for fish. Photo courtesy of Joey Daoud

He’s now starring in a documentary called “Dolphin Lover,” a 15-minute film that tells the story of “his summer long love affair with Dolly the dolphin” over four decades ago.


Brenner lives in West Florida these day and tries to live a pretty normal life. He even has a grown daughter after “‘training’ himself to like women.” He hopes that one day zoophilia will be normal in society. He seems to like humans too, as he’s active on several dating sites.

Back in the day, it was totally legal to fuck animals in Florida. Back when America was great?

Bestiality could be banned in Fla. following goat rape

A goat fucking incident in 2008 paved the way for a new law in 2011 that outlawed humans fucking animals in the Sunshine State.

FSS 828.126 basically declares that humans are not allowed to “knowingly engage in any sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal.”

It’s an important law to have on the books to protect animals, but it’s only a first degree misdemeanor.

Animals cannot express consent to humans. Or rather, we have no way to prove they can express consent, because we don’t speak the same language(s).

“Laws barring bestiality, such as the one recently enacted in Florida, are not wrongful limitations of sexual freedom. They rightfully protect the sexual liberties of all,” reads a Guardian article.

That pretty much says it.

Consent is everything.

Please stop fucking animals, everyone. We shouldn’t have to ask these things. Also, it’s not just Floridians. Margaret Lovatt apparently fell in love with a dolphin too.

Is it wrong for humans to fuck animals?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...