Tampa Man Escaping Irma Gets Arrested for Lewdness in Massachusetts

Salem Police

Trampites are a peculiar species. Here in Florida, we just get used to their antics. We smile and nod as they describe their disturbing sexual escapades. We adapt to their unpredictability; from their avoidance of using turn signals to their random public masturbation, we find ways to safely share the beautiful state of Florida with these invasive creatures.

Floridians are not afraid of hurricanes… except Paul West. Full Story »

Orlando Karate Teacher Tries Seducing an 11-Year-Old Boy

Most of us guys remember having a crush on a woman twice our age as a kid. Well, here we are in the future, and while we don’t have hoverboards yet, we do have the ability to send information at nearly the speed of light through satellites…

We can use this technology for many things: good and evil.

Stephannie Figueroa, age 20, who works at Next Gen Xtreme Martial Arts in Orlando, chose the evil path and used these powers to flirt with an 11-year old boy. Full Story »

Panhandle Man masturbates at Panama City Beach wearing a ‘Be Free’ shirt.

Jason Glenn Bloutwell

Where do people from Georgia come to vacation? Well, the panhandle of course. It’s still the south, but with way better beaches. They can feel right at home surrounded by confederate battle flags and high school drop outs.

An off duty cop from the Peach State brought his wife to Panama City Beach for a vacation, as many do.

They were not familiar though, with our culture.

You see, in Florida it’s totally normal to pull your dick out in public and start masturbating furiously.

When they both spotted Jason Glenn Bloutwell, 41 years of age, doing just that, they both freaked out and called the cops.

He was proudly fapping at the City Pier parking lot on Front Beach Road around 3:00 on a sunny afternoon.

Panama City Beach Police took Bloutwell into custody where he confessed to committing the crime, and was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition. He has been transported to the Bay County Jail where he awaits his first appearance.

Source: mypanhandle.com

Valparaiso man charged with sexually molesting horse

VALPARAISO — A 26-year-old Valparaiso man is facing multiple charges in connection with the molestation of a horse.

Darius Galloway of Okaloosa Avenue is charged with sexual activities involving animals, burglary of an unoccupied structure and petit theft. Burglary is a felony, while the two other charges are misdemeanors.

According to an arrest report from the Valparaiso Police Department, on April 25, the owner of Athena, a female horse that boards at a stable on Valparaiso Parkway, noticed oil on the horse’s rump. On June 20, the owner again observed oil on the horse, as well as a visible handprint in the oil.

A week later, on June 27, the horse’s owner notified the owner of the stable that she had again noticed oil on the equine’s rump, as well as a white substance she believed to be semen on the horse’s vagina, the report said. A trail camera was set up in the stable as a result. Full Story »