Why Can’t You Be Normal?

 

Like mother, like daughter. Like father, like son. Like country, like state.

Florida’s fucked up, but the United States is far more fucked up than our little peninsula.

 

Highest incarceration rate in the world.

Life expectancy lower than 42 other countries.

Trump supporters.

Florida.

There’s a lot of reasons for the rest of the world to laugh at us and accuse the U.S. of being crazy.

That being said, just like United States citizens constantly flock into Florida despite talking shit about us all the time, people from other countries just can’t resist coming to America.

The United States is the Florida of the world.

Florida State Capitol – Cock and Balls

My name is Tallahassee
a’on know about y’all,
but I’m real damn proud
of my cock and my balls.

The capital of Florida,
America’s wang,
got some Antebellum babies
that became unchained.

Most of us are meth heads,
hidin’ in the woods,
all the dang northeasterners
ruined our moods…

All state laws
pass through my city,
ah like ’em even more
if you think they’re shitty.

Journalism

wtff-news-florida-man-integrity

Everything in our news category is real. Everything we quote from arrest affidavits are written verbatim. We cite all our sources. That being said, we are often completely unprofessional in our condemning and ridiculous descriptions of Florida Man and Florida Woman. Without that layer of psychological protection against the sinister nature of these horrific events, WTFF News would be just as depressing as regular news. So we choose to be ridiculous. We’re just being honest though. If you want to join us in our mission to make the news more real, sign up to be an author.