It’s gonna be really f*cking cold in Florida; impending snow, death, mayhem

(WTFF) – Put on extra pairs of socks before you step into your sandals this week, because Florida’s gonna get really f*cking cold and we’re all gonna die*. Full Story »

Clermont Man Purposely Crashes SUV to Prove Intersection is Dangerous

bruce clermont crash

Clermont (WTFF) – A man who was angry about a dangerous intersection decided to intentionally crash his car to prove how problematic the intersection is.

61-year-old Bruce John Homer told Lake County Sheriff’s Office deputies that he was “frustrated law enforcement wouldn’t crack down on people running through a stop sign at the intersection.” (tampabay.com)
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Lady Lake Man Drowned Toddler Because Wife was Divorcing Him

Jeremy Main

The Lady Lake man accused of drowning his 18-month-old daughter on Monday told his wife that he killed their child because she was divorcing him, according to an arrest affidavit.

Lake County deputies went to Jeremy Main’s home on Redbud Road in Lady Lake on Monday morning and found the toddler dead in the bathtub.

The Lake County Sheriff’s Office said it responded to the house after police in Ocala received a call from Main’s wife, who told them that her husband had just called and told her that he killed their child.
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Leesburg Woman says ‘Jesus commanded’ her to tailgate deputy

Kristin Betz

LEESBURG, Fla. – A Leesburg woman was arrested Thursday after she tailgated a deputy, then told him that “Jesus commanded” her to do so, officials with the Lake County Sheriff’s Office said.

A Lake County deputy was driving his patrol car when he noticed a beige Volkswagen within inches of his bumper, according to the arrest report.

The deputy made a right turn and got into the far left lane of U.S. Highway 441, when he again noticed the same car tailgating him.

The report said the Volkswagen then went into the center lane, where the woman behind the wheel began staring at the deputy. The affidavit states that the woman swerved in the deputy’s direction three times, almost causing the two cars to crash. Full Story »

Ringtones and The Villages

You haven’t seen true pandemonium until you’ve witnessed the mad fumbling of pocket and purse searching in The Villages when a default ring tone goes off.

Suddenly, accompanying the alarm, an orchestra of candy wrappers and groans create a soundtrack to the story of each person desiring to answer their phone.

Even the ones who had their grandkids update their ringtones leap out of their geriatric slumber to answer the incoming call… It could be important.

Perhaps it’s the IRS calling to verify their social security number. Maybe it’s a shipping update on that Viagra order.

The rumpus is further exaggerated as wives plead with their weary husbands to hurry up, disparaging their every effort with wrinkly contempt.

Everyone over 60 fumbles through their belongings.

Peppermint candies and Werther’s Originals scatter across the floor. Lightly crumbled tissues float away. Hands get stuck in pockets. Walkers and canes tumble. Hips are broken. Emergency rooms are inundated. Such is life in the world’s largest retirement community.