It’s gonna be really f*cking cold in Florida; impending snow, death, mayhem

(WTFF) – Put on extra pairs of socks before you step into your sandals this week, because Florida’s gonna get really f*cking cold and we’re all gonna die*. Full Story »

Clermont Man Purposely Crashes SUV to Prove Intersection is Dangerous

bruce clermont crash

Clermont (WTFF) – A man who was angry about a dangerous intersection decided to intentionally crash his car to prove how problematic the intersection is.

61-year-old Bruce John Homer told Lake County Sheriff’s Office deputies that he was “frustrated law enforcement wouldn’t crack down on people running through a stop sign at the intersection.” (tampabay.com)
Full Story »

Lady Lake Man Drowned Toddler Because Wife was Divorcing Him

Jeremy Main

The Lady Lake man accused of drowning his 18-month-old daughter on Monday told his wife that he killed their child because she was divorcing him, according to an arrest affidavit.

Lake County deputies went to Jeremy Main’s home on Redbud Road in Lady Lake on Monday morning and found the toddler dead in the bathtub.

The Lake County Sheriff’s Office said it responded to the house after police in Ocala received a call from Main’s wife, who told them that her husband had just called and told her that he killed their child.
Full Story »

Leesburg Woman says ‘Jesus commanded’ her to tailgate deputy

Kristin Betz

LEESBURG, Fla. – A Leesburg woman was arrested Thursday after she tailgated a deputy, then told him that “Jesus commanded” her to do so, officials with the Lake County Sheriff’s Office said.

A Lake County deputy was driving his patrol car when he noticed a beige Volkswagen within inches of his bumper, according to the arrest report.

The deputy made a right turn and got into the far left lane of U.S. Highway 441, when he again noticed the same car tailgating him.

The report said the Volkswagen then went into the center lane, where the woman behind the wheel began staring at the deputy. The affidavit states that the woman swerved in the deputy’s direction three times, almost causing the two cars to crash. Full Story »

Ringtones and The Villages

You haven’t seen true pandemonium until you’ve witnessed the mad fumbling of pocket and purse searching in The Villages when a default ring tone goes off.

Suddenly, accompanying the alarm, an orchestra of candy wrappers and groans create a soundtrack to the story of each person desiring to answer their phone.

Even the ones who had their grandkids update their ringtones leap out of their geriatric slumber to answer the incoming call… It could be important.

Perhaps it’s the IRS calling to verify their social security number. Maybe it’s a shipping update on that Viagra order.

The rumpus is further exaggerated as wives plead with their weary husbands to hurry up, disparaging their every effort with wrinkly contempt.

Everyone over 60 fumbles through their belongings.

Peppermint candies and Werther’s Originals scatter across the floor. Lightly crumbled tissues float away. Hands get stuck in pockets. Walkers and canes tumble. Hips are broken. Emergency rooms are inundated. Such is life in the world’s largest retirement community.

Florida Man robs the woman who gave him a place to sleep

Anthony Wayne Sandusky

GROVELAND – A Mascotte man staying overnight at a woman’s home said he took items from her — including a stamp collection worth $250,000 — because she was being mean to him, deputies said.

Anthony Wayne Sandusky, 26, of Mascotte has been charged with grand theft of property valued at more than $100,000.

In an arrest affidavit, Lake County Sheriff’s deputies said a Groveland woman reported Wednesday that she allowed Sandusky to stay the night at her Bay Lake Road home because he said he had nowhere to go.

She fell asleep, and when she awoke, her mother told her that the man had closed all the blinds, locked the front door and started carrying stuff out the back of their home, investigators said.

The woman later found two bags full of items in an adjacent field. Inside the bags were various household items, her purse, jewelry boxes and the stamp collection valued at $250,000. Full Story »

Real estate agent finds human remains while showing Florida property, police say

GROVELAND, Fla. – A real estate agent and some clients found human remains on a rural Groveland property Saturday, the Lake County Sheriff’s Office said.

Deputies began investigating the remains around 5:50 p.m. after the real estate agent discovered them on the property, which is up for sale.

Deputies preserved the scene overnight and continued investigating the remains Sunday.

The investigation is active.

Deputies have not determined the cause of death or identity of the person at this time. Full Story »

Cops arrest drugged, topless Leesburg woman

Mandy Deane Jones

LEESBURG – Police on Wednesday arrested a woman who was apparently high on methamphetamine and running around naked in her neighbor’s yard.

According to an arrest affidavit, police received a call that the woman, later identified as Mandy Deane Jones, 36, of Leesburg, was running around without clothes, had flagged down a passing SUV and jumped in the back seat. By the time officers arrived, Jones was running around shirtless in the yard of her neighbor’s Layton Street home.

The driver of the SUV said Jones stopped her, slammed herself on the hood of the car and then opened the door and jumped in the back before she could lock it. The woman said Jones lunged for her purse but instead grabbed a water bottle, then jumped of the car.

Paramedics who arrived at the scene said Jones admitted she had taken methamphetamine in the last two hours. Full Story »

Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up

Let's Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up
“Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up.”

Dear Floridians (and everybody else),

Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State.

After the laughter comes tears. The victims of Florida’s insanity aren’t laughing (unless they’re truly demented, which happens sometimes). We have a responsibility to improve Florida as much as we can.

WTF Florida would like to state a new mission:

We are dedicated to becoming a Karma Neutral State.

We want Florida’s karmatic number to be perfectly balanced at zero. Laughing at other people’s misery brings negative karma. Doing fucked up shit brings negative karma. Helping people who have been fucked over by Florida’s insanity brings you positive karma. We are still going to make fun of everybody who shows up on this site, but we are also going to start getting more serious about fixing stupid shit.

From this point on, we will occasionally start petitions to bring about justice, and to fix things that are unfair or that defy morals. We encourage our readers to help, not only by signing and sharing these petitions, but to also create them yourselves and to contact your representatives when appropriate. Please contact us if you have an issue that is important to you.

Send us info about your non-profit group or activism group, and we will try to get you more views (if you don’t mind being associated with us). Use the Contact page and let us know what you’re about.

All big problems start small. You can make a difference today by doing little things. Give a homeless person a bottle of water. Ask a local school what supplies they need and gift them with what you can afford. Use your fucking turn signals. The list goes on.

Help us help our state.

Let’s work together for the greater good.

Let’s make Florida slightly less fucked up.

 

 

Floridians For Freedom

fff-smokey

Only the “Right Of Adults To Cannabis” amendment can secure your RIGHT to possess, cultivate, and use cannabis in a manner similar to your 2nd amendment right to “keep and bear arms” … think about that for a minute.

Whether you agree or disagree with Americans right to gun ownership, the strength of this protected right is clear and viewed my many as absolute. Floridians For Freedom​ believes adults right to whole plant cannabis should be comparable and hopes you agree. Full Story »

Florida Man with ‘White Pride’ tattoo celebrates his 40th arrest by doing opiates, meth, and heroin in his Astatula trailer park

Jason Gibbs, 42 of Astatula, has been arrested 40 times in Florida as of Wednesday, July 12. Gibbs was discovered with baggies of crystal meth, heroin and prescription opiate pills.
Jason Gibbs, 42 of Astatula (LCSO)

Lake County Sheriff’s Office SWAT Team arrested 42-year-old Jason Gibbs on Wednesday after they found him inside a camper trailer in Astatula.

This is his 40th arrest.

In his trailer, cops found heroin, crystal meth, and prescription opiate pills.

Full Story »

Florida man jailed after claiming cannibals wanted to eat his intestines

McKade Samuel Crumby

A man complaining that cannibals were determined to eat his intestines was tased on Monday by Lake County sheriff’s deputies.

According to an arrest affidavit, deputies were called to a Groveland home to a verbal disturbance. After speaking with the suspect, 23-year-old McKade Samuel Crumby, they decided to place him into a mental institution.

Crumbly had been complaining that cannibals wanted to eat his intestines and that he would kill his father if he hindered his drug business. Full Story »

Bystander stops naked man from molesting cat

Arnaz Gene McVay

LEESBURG — Police on Friday arrested a man who a witness claimed he saw standing naked by the Leesburg Post Office trying to lure a cat out of the woods.

According to an arrest report, the witness told officers he saw Arnaz Gene McVay, 64, standing by the woods next to the Post Office on South 14th Street about 9:30 a.m. He said it appeared McVay had a handful of cat food and was trying to coax a cat out of the woods.

When the white cat emerged, McVay reportedly grabbed it and appeared to be trying to have sex with the cat. The witness said he confronted McVay and the men began to argue. The man said at some point McVay put on his shorts and rode off on a bike. Full Story »

Woman linked to theft of car after teeth found inside

LADY LAKE – Police were able to help link a toothless woman to a vehicle theft after they found her dentures inside the vehicle.

According to the Lake County Sheriff’s Office, deputies responded to Parkinsonia Street in Lady Lake on Friday to reports of suspicious person trying to enter homes, and where they spotted a gray Kia nearby with the inside light on and door open.

They found the suspect, 31-year-old Lindsey Jean Stanley-McShane, trying to enter a pickup truck and she seemed to be on drugs but wasn’t aware what she had taken.

Deputies added Stanley-McShane was missing her teeth and shoes and appeared to be looking on the ground for both of them.

According to an arrest affidavit and Sgt. Fred Jones, deputies were going to take her to a mental health facility, before they observed her dentures and pink tennis shoes in the Kia, which she admitted were hers. Apparently, the car had been stolen out of Marion County and had run out of gas.

At the site of the deputies examining the car, Stanley-McShane began to claim she was only a passenger in the vehicle and didn’t know who was driving it.

Stanley-McShane was taken to Florida Hospital Waterman to get treated for drugs and then to the Lake County Jail, where she remained Tuesday.

Source: dailycommercial.com

Eustis police officer accused of waving gun at woman in road-rage incident

EUSTIS, Fla. – A Eustis police officer is off the job, accused of waving her gun at another woman in a fit of road rage.

Deputies said it happened in a beauty shop parking lot in the 7000 block of West Colonial Drive.

It’s not the first time Senior Officer Theresa Graham has been accused of using a weapon during an altercation.

Graham was cleared of any wrongdoing in the past incident, but she’s now on administrative leave.

A woman parked in front of Evelyn’s Hair Creations said the off-duty officer laid on her horn in a fit of road rage earlier this month before pulling out a gun as the victim tried to wave her around the victim’s parked car.

According to the arrest report, “Theresa Graham pulled her car next to the victim’s car where the two of them exchanged words,” and the victim told deputies that’s when Graham “put her car in park, reached into her glove box, removed a black handgun and pointed the gun at the victim and the witness.”

According to the report, Graham told deputies the other driver was holding an unknown object” and she got out her gun “to protect herself.”

She claims she never removed the weapon from the holster or pointed it in the direction of the victim, the report said.

It’s not the first time Graham has been investigated for actions involving a gun.

In 2009, she fired two shots at a suspect at a Eustis Dollar Tree store when he grabbed her agency-issued stun gun and used it on her during a domestic disturbance call she was investigating.

Eustis police could not say whether the gun used in the road-rage incident was Graham’s agency-issued weapon.

She has been with the department since 2006, and was recently honored for saving a man’s life with CPR.

Florida Man used his baby’s stroller to steal shampoo, prosecco, and cocktail sausages

Publix

EUSTIS, Fla. – A 26-year-old man used a baby stroller to steal items from a grocery store, according to law enforcement in Florida.

Shortly before 4:30 p.m. Wednesday, a loss-prevention officer at Publix, said he saw Robert Kevin Hughes walk down the aisles with a baby stroller, then stuffing the stroller with items he didn’t pay for, police said.

After getting caught, investigators said Hughes took off, leaving the infant behind.

Officers said the man stole shampoo, prosecco and cocktail sausages, which were worth just over $22.

“It’s really sad that people have to stoop to that kind of level,” shopper Alyssa Ware said.

A report from the Eustis Police Department said Hughes took off when he was confronted, but left the baby, stroller and items behind. Full Story »

Selling stolen motorcycles on Facebook is a bad idea

This 19 year old Fruitland Park resident, Casey Robert Dean, is in jail after stealing two motorcycles and selling them on Facebook.

Casey Robert Dean sold stolen dirt bikes on Facebook

Allegedly, he stole two dirt bikes from someone’s garage. In a stroke of brilliance he decided to sell them via Facebook post. In the first transaction he got an Xbox 360 and fifty bucks… then he scored a sweet pressure washer in a Sam’s parking lot in Lady Lake. Both of these transactions were initiated and discussed on Facebook. Our young entrepreneur is now is now facing $12,000 bond.

Police interviewed the kid and he told them “it was just a crazy idea” and that he was “learning from it.”

So I hope we all learned that it’s a bad idea to steal motorcycles and then sell them on Facebook. Thanks Florida Man, we all learned something today.

 

Source: https://www.villages-news.com/