Everything in our news category is real. Everything we quote from arrest affidavits are written verbatim. Everything we cite from links to the source. That being said, we are often completely unprofessional in our condemning and ridiculous descriptions of Florida Man and Florida Woman. Without that layer of psychological protection against the sinister nature of these horrific events, WTFF News would be just as depressing as regular news. So we choose to be ridiculous. We’re just being honest though. If you want to join us in our mission to make the news more real, sign up to be an author.
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. Full Story »
Thanks to Viagra, The Villages is a goldmine of lemon parties. Thanks to alcoholism and Baby Boomer Americana culture, booze are plentiful. Thanks to the Morse family, this bubble exists in the middle of Florida.
The STD rate is actually pretty low in Lake, Sumter, and Marion counties, but The Villagers do like to get down and dirty. They can afford doctor visits though, putting their counties a little lower on the official Florida STD Rate List. A lot goes on behind closed doors though…
Don’t ask about the key parties.
As a general rule of thumb, if someone points a gun at you, they have the right-of-way. If you see a shootout taking place behind you, MOVE OVER and let them pass. Try not to get shot. Full Story »
The NRA is lobbying hard to eliminate the problem of overcrowded classrooms in Florida. More dead kids = less crowded classrooms. Don’t let the liberal media trick you into believing that the NRA doesn’t care about kids and schools. We care more about our profits than we do about the lives of your children, but we still do care about them. Please continue sending us money under the vague threat of the boogeyman taking all your guns away. Murica. Fuck yeah.
-NRA Full Story »
When Michigan sends its people to Florida, they’re not sending the best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems. They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime. They’re rapists and some, I assume, are good people, but I speak to Floridians and they’re telling us what we’re getting.
Disclaimer: don’t be a fucking idiot and assume this is anything more than a meme.