Mainstream Media

Not everything is as it seems. Take a few breaths and research things. Be patient. Anger is a stupid emotion, and is frequently exploited by media companies. Same with fear. Pay attention. Stop believing in the characterizations of people that dehumanize us. Not all liberals want 72 genders on forms. Not all conservatives believe that […] »

Journalism

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Everything in our news category is real. Everything we quote from arrest affidavits are written verbatim. We cite all our sources. That being said, we are often completely unprofessional in our condemning and ridiculous descriptions of Florida Man and Florida Woman. Without that layer of psychological protection against the sinister nature of these horrific events, […] »

The Villages: Beer and STDs

Thanks to Viagra, The Villages is a goldmine of lemon parties. Thanks to alcoholism and Gen Xer, Baby Boomer culture, booze are plentiful. Thanks to the Morse family, this bubble exists in the middle of Florida. The STD rate is actually pretty low in Lake, Sumter, and Marion counties, but The Villagers do like to […] »

People from Michigan

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When Michigan sends its people to Florida, they’re not sending the best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems. They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime. They’re rapists and some, I assume, are good people, but I speak to Floridians and they’re telling us what we’re getting. -WTF Florida Disclaimer […] »

Symbiotic Grandparents

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Florida Man often survives harsh winters by moving in with his grandparents and stealing stuff from their house to pay for drugs. Such is the symbiotic nature of this delicate Florida balance. It’s one of the realities behind our headlines. »

Blue Balls

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Public service announcement to all the young, naïve girls dating a Florida Man: Nobody really dies from blue balls. They’re just trying to guilt you into having sex. The sperm does not “crawl into the brain” or anything like that, as they will try to make you believe. Yes, someone actually said that once. »

Wall

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We’re gonna build a wall, and Alabama and Georgia are gonna pay for it. We don’t want any more transplants. Go away. We closed. Vote “WTF Florida” as your new Governor in the 2018 elections. #MFGA #KeepEveryoneOut #GoAway »

Visit Florida Ads

We propose these helpful ads to Visit Florida, in an effort to increase our tourism dollars. Our WTFF News corporate sponsors demand that we do our part to ensure that a fresh wave of tranplants get stuck here every year. Here are the staff picks, please share to save our tourism industry. #VisitFlordia »

How Florida Man Stays Eternal

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Florida Man is suspended in time as a constant in the zaniest headlines. His death and rebirth are continuous and propelled by the same energy that he’s infamous for. As long as the contiguous U.S. has this peninsula in their southeast corner, Florida Man will exist, and WTFF News will be here to report his […] »