Florida (WTFF) – Hey y’all, that hurricane ain’t gonna hit us none. Full Story »
Trampites are a peculiar species. Here in Florida, we just get used to their antics. We smile and nod as they describe their disturbing sexual escapades. We adapt to their unpredictability; from their avoidance of using turn signals to their random public masturbation, we find ways to safely share the beautiful state of Florida with these invasive creatures.
Floridians are not afraid of hurricanes… except Paul West. Full Story »
ABC Action News reports:
FORT MYERS, Fla. — A Florida woman got creative with spare spray paint and plywood and made a sign to get the power company’s attention.
“I thought that all of my neighbors would get a huge kick out of it,” said Kynse Agles.
She posed for a photo next to her pink sign that reads, “Hot single female seeks sexy lineman to electrify her life.”
Full Story »
A prisoner transport bus was traveling down the Turnpike in Lake Worth Monday afternoon.
The passengers had evacuated because of Irma, and were returning to the South Florida Evaluation and Treatment Center in Florida City. Full Story »
ACWORTH, Ga. – Two Floridians who fled to metro Atlanta to escape Hurricane Irma credit a local police department with helping them recover from a freak accident here that almost cost them their lives. Full Story »
“It’s logic, I’m on a boat, I float.” -Florida Man
This service is probably worth like 100 Hail Mary’s… Full Story »
A Port St. Lucie man, trying to do the right thing during Hurricane Irma, learned that no good deed goes unpunished.
He was letting Tarvice Lamar Payne stay at his home in the 900 block of SW Connecticut Terrace during the storm when his guest attacked him, according to Port St. Lucie police.
Payne, 33, of Royal Palm Beach, accused the alleged victim of stealing his drugs, so he punched him and then threatened him with an ax, a police report states. Full Story »
This morning, a Miami man told an NBC reporter that he plans to secure his shirtless body to a post outside while the Category 4 Hurricane Irma hits. Full Story »
Gotta love Miami people…
Here’s a few our favorites at WTFF News. These songs are designed to eliminate your stress, get you moving, and take your mind off the land-approaching cyclone. Quit worrying (especially you non-Natives), just get up and dance. Enjoy! Full Story »
So, the mad scramble begins. Stores are shutting down, gas stations are wrapping up their pumps, and people are panicking… especially the newbies here.
Veteran Florida People are not worried.
How can you, as a non-native who failed to buy supplies ahead of time, survive this storm? Well it’s very easy. Learn from the locals, and you will be just fine. Hopefully one or two little markets are still open and you can fight the crowds to do some last minute shopping, if not just ignore the first couple of tips. Full Story »
OK, so Reuters fucked up the information, but thankfully a Facebook fan corrected us. This is actually in Land O’ Lakes, Florida at a clothing optional resort called “Caliente.”
DAVIE, Fla. – The first Hurricane Irma-related death to be reported in South Florida happened Thursday in Davie, authorities said.
Davie police said a 57-year-old man died after falling off a ladder while putting up shutters at a home in the Shenandoah area.
“I never seen anything like that in my life, though. So, it’s really graphic,” Austin Doan said. Full Story »
Redditor GALACTICA-Actual has a brilliant exposition on this:
I’m ex law enforcement, and yes, this was an asshole move. I don’t know anything about this guy, so I’m not going to try to speak to his motivations, but this is problematic in a few ways.
Yes, if we run someone for a warrant and they pop, we’re duty bound to arrest them. And that’s how it should be.
The problem arises that people with warrants will possibly not seek shelter and may die because of that. Warrants can be for things as minor as traffic offenses. Full Story »
Did your city make the list? Full Story »
This is totally not click-bait. We are totally NOT exploiting a potential natural disaster that could kill thousands of people just to boost our advertising revenue. Nobody does this, especially not big news sites. Full Story »
20-year-old Brandon Ware was arrested early Friday morning for reckless driving and booked into the Volusia County Branch Jail.
The t-shirt Ware was wearing was explicit and ironic reading “(expletive) speeding tickets”.
According to police Ware was doing burnouts in his black GMC truck in the 700 block of South Atlantic Avenue where news crews were. Police say Ware did multiple 360’s in a reckless manner and at a high rate of speed at the base of the bridge.
Records show Ware was released from jail Friday evening after posting $500 bail.
Hurricane Matthew really brings out the best in us. Thank you again, Florida Man.