Florida’s Number One for Head Injuries


According to Stat News, the most common physical injury diagnosis in Florida, as documented in health insurance claims, are head injuries. That explains a lot. It explains the butthurt Facebook comments full of typos and atrocious grammar that manifest every time we troll the Florida Mans and Florida Womans of the state. Head injuries. That’s why people in Florida still deny climate change. Head injuries. That’s why they shoot each other over parking spaces. Head injuries. It has to be that. It just has to be… Full Story »

Florida Ranks Number One in the Country for Fraud

old lady phone scam

Once again, we’re in first place! …Well, at least for consumer complaints about fraud and identity theft.

Residents of the Sunshine State filed more complaints per capita about problems with debt collectors, imposter scams, telephone services and other issues, while the state ranked second with consumer complaints about ID theft, according to a new report from the Federal Trade Commission.

The Sarasota-Manatee region ranked 49th nationwide for complaints about fraud and related problems in 2016. Consumers filed 3,649 such gripes, or 475 per 100,000 residents.
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New Florida Record


Ladies and Gentlemen, I think it actually fucking happened… within the last 24 hours, as everyone scrambles to prepare for Hurricane Irma by purchasing copious amounts of drugs and alcohol, the news stations have not reported any stories of outlandishly depraved nonsense taking place… Either everyone’s too busy to get in trouble, or the news stations are making more money by just reporting stormy weather. Unless anyone can prove me wrong, we have officially earned this certificate. Good fucking job, Florida.