2018 Leesburg Bikefest Weekend Arrests

This Monday marks the end of Leesburg Bikefest (known simply as “bahk fast” by the locals). It involves motorcycles, alcohol, ass & titties, hair metal bands, and lots and lots of cheap beer. Doctors and lawyers come from all over to cosplay as renegade bikers. Locals show up and party. Dealers show up and sell meth and cocaine. Vendors sell expensive cheap beer. Hippies and locals sell weed. Old hair metal bands go on stage with oxygen tanks. Bikini contests take place. Copious amounts of alcohol and carnival food are sold. Bikes ride up and down Main Street. It’s pretty fun.

Needless to say, the arrest affidavits are always interesting during these times. Here’s just about everything from Lake County this past weekend, put into a very brief format (City – Charges – Extra details). It’s pretty sloppily written, but there were a shitload of arrests and we’re short staffed. Enjoy!

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Tallahassee, The Capital of Florida

My name is Tallahassee
a’on know about y’all,
but I’m real damn proud
Of my cock and my balls.

The capital of Florida,
America’s wang,
got some Antebellum babies
that became unchained.

Most of us are meth heads,
hidin’ in the woods,
all the dang northeasterners
ruined our moods…

All state laws
pass through my city,
Ah like ’em even more
if you think they’re shitty.