Hi, I’m almost every political candidate, and I promise to:
✅ Pander to my base with rhetorical phrases and uplifting but empty promises.
✅ Make you fight to keep your constitutional rights.
✅ Blame the other side.
✅ Find what pisses you off and run ads about how I’m going to change those things.
✅ Piggyback off every current “social issue” that Mainstream Media talks about, while ignoring what people really want and need.
✅ Talk about fixing things, but never provide any detailed plans of how I’m going to do that.
✅ Accept legal bribes in the form of “campaign contributions.”
✅ Write policies that hurt my constituents while convincing them of the opposite.
✅ Spend millions on propaganda and trash-talking ads instead of investing that money into our society.
✅ Pay for shill accounts on Facebook to sway public opinion and bury the truth.
✅ Create make-believe problems and promise to fix those non-existent issues.
✅ Make being a Floridian legal again.