We received a “must-run message” from our “friends” over at Sinclair Media. We don’t approve of this message, but they’re heavily armed and already shot a few of our best reporters for dissenting, so here it is:
Democrats and Republicans must remain mortal enemies. Do everything in your power to destroy each other.
Conservatives, do your best to strip away women’s rights and censor the internet. All Democrats are Godless baby killers that want to turn your sons gay.
Liberals, do your best to ban large rifles; only police and government employees need those. All Republicans are mass shooters and racists that want to drink their large fountain drinks with straws.
Poor people, we must fight to provide larger tax cuts for the rich, so the profits will trickle down. You will be rich one day too and reap the rewards, just have patience and continue paying your taxes.
Obey your corporations. Continue to consume your programming.
All news that threatens the establishment is fake news.
Go forth and hate thy neighbor.
Ignorance is strength. Unity is weakness. Abuse is kindness. Fear is knowledge. Truth is deceit. Control is liberty.