Gainesville woman gets butt lift after stealing money from city

A Gainesville city report released June 14, 2017, said Natwaina Clark stole $93,000 from the city of Gaineville, using $8,500 to get a butt lift. [Alachua County Sheriff's Office]

An investigative report released Wednesday shows a former city of Gainesville employee, accused of stealing more than $93,000 from the city, spent some of it on a Brazilian butt lift.

The report found that former city staff specialist Natwaina Clark, 33, charged her city-issued credit card 136 times for roughly $61,000 in unauthorized charges, used her bosses’ cards at least 36 more times for an additional $31,000, and spent nearly $900 on a coworker’s card five times between November 2015 and March 2017.

The report also finds department heads acted negligently, allowing city funds to be misspent.

Documents attached to the report show Clark, who was hired in August 2015, funneled roughly $41,000 to her personal PayPal account, linked to her bank account, and that $8,500 of it went toward a Brazilian butt lift. The cosmetic surgery procedure uses fat from one part of the body to augment one’s buttocks.

PayPal transactions were itemized as “decor,” “storage bins,” and “holiday banners.” Full Story ⤳

Florida Woman Stabs Her Mother in Head

Elizabeth-Bell

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (WCTV) — A Tallahassee woman has been charged with attempted murder after officers say she stabbed her mother in the face and chest.

Around 8:30 p.m. Sunday, officers with the Tallahassee Police Department responded to a home in the 900 block of Hawthorne Street. They found a woman covered in blood around her face and neck.

The woman told police that her daughter, 37-year-old Elizabeth Bell, had attacked her with a knife and was still inside the house. Full Story ⤳

Rogue Spider Causes Florida Woman to Crash her Car into a Pole

A 27-year-old Florida woman suffered only minor injuries when her car crashed into a pole Tuesday morning following a spider sighting.
A 27-year-old Florida woman suffered only minor injuries when her car crashed into a pole Tuesday morning following a spider sighting.

COOPER CITY, FL — A Florida woman’s Tuesday morning commute took an unusual turn when she happened to spot a hitchhiking spider perched atop a web above her head. When that spider decided to scale down its silk and land on her leg, things took a dangerous turn. Full Story ⤳

Naples woman arrested for having sex with dogs

Miranda Johns

A Naples woman was arrested by Collier County deputies for having sex with dogs.

Miranda Johns, 21, was arrested Monday and charged with three counts of engaging in sexual conduct with an animal.

According to an arrest report, deputies were interviewing a man about a sexual battery case involving Johns. The individual denied battering Johns and instead showed deputies videos Johns sent him of herself engaging in oral sex with two pet dogs.

Johns also sexted images of the encounter to the man.

Johns is out on a $6,000 bond from the Collier County Jail. Full Story ⤳

Woman exhibits road rage in a unique Florida fashion

Dancing Florida Woman

Uttering her contempt by grabbing her breasts and throwing her middle fingers in the air, this Florida woman performs her ritual road-rage dance in front of this dash cam:

Her male counterpart rammed into their vehicle while this white trash yee-haw redneck slut steps out to do her silly taunting. She also punched the victim’s side mirror and spat on the car.

Our graceful creature uttered to our camera-wielding victims, “I’ll sue you for taking my mother-f***in’ picture, hoe.” Thank you Florida education system, for producing humans with such eloquent lyrics.

I’m just surprised nobody got shot. Florida is number one in the country for gun ownership, not even per capita, but the highest number of guns period, even higher than Texas. This glorious “gunshine state” also boasts the lowest funding in the nation for mental health care. So when you do the math, you will find that Florida contains a bunch of insane people running around with guns.

And of course these uneducated monkeys are driving a gigantic gas-guzzling ‘Murica vehicle, because people in Florida are useless consumers who have no thoughts of their own.

Reinforcing the “white people can’t dance” stereotype, here is a lovely screenshot of the action:

Dancing Florida Woman utters her contempt by making a fool of herself

Florida Woman tells cops to wait so she can have sex

Priorities…

Ain’t that love? These two went out with a bang…

This 30-year-old Jacksonville local, Leanne Hunn, was cooped up in a mobile home with her boo thang, 34-year-old Ryan Patrick Bautista. This guy was wanted by the police, who showed up at the trailer park to arrest him. The cops tried getting in for 45 minutes, and even called Leanne on the telephone..

She told the cops to wait, because she wanted to finish having sex with Ryan “one last time” before they arrested him… So in a stunning moment of white privilege, our good ‘ol boys in blue let them finish. The SWAT team then showed up  and our lovers were arrested and charged with resisting arrest and false imprisonment.

This really is a beautiful story though. I think anyone facing jail time would add a couple extra resisting arrest months to bust a nut.

So even though Florida is a giant shit hole full of trailer parks, at least there is still love…

These two put the Fuck in What the Fuck. Thank you Florida Woman and Florida Man, your bravery and dedication will be honored all over crappy news sites like this one, forever.

Florida Woman covered in chicken wing sauce and blue cheese gets arrested for assaulting her boyfriend

Apparently her boyfriend had been lying about how much money he was making, so this woman, Trisha Brower, shows up at the hamburger joint he works at and confronts him about the $145 difference. You see, rent was due and this live-in boyfriend of hers was holding out.

After a little argument she starts walking out and decides in all of her Florida glory to throw chicken wings at him. Because that’s how adults in Florida resolve conflict.

“When she threw the container with the chicken wings, the blue cheese dressing and wing sauce splattered all over her and partially on him,” a report states.

She also tried punching him and spitting on him, but our burger-making hero was swift and avoided the blows.

And so the story ends with this 35-year-old Port St. Lucie woman going to jail covered in chicken wing sauce and fromage bleu

Source: http://offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com/