St. Johns Archives - WTF Florida?

Commissioner who Voted Against Masks in Critical Condition with COVID-19

St. Augustine (WTFF) – St. Johns County Commissioner Paul Waldron caught the coronavirus and went into septic shock after voting against a motion to mandate masks for county employees last week. »

Publix Made a Hurricane Dorian Cake

In true Floridian fashion, Publix made a hurricane cake. A hurricake? »

Florida Man Reportedly Pulls Gun on Woman Who Refused to Try His Vape Pen at McDonald’s

St. Augustine (WTFF) – A Florida man is behind bars after deputies say he pulled a gun on a woman at McDonald’s after she refused to try his vape pen. »

Florida Man Trolls 911 While Fleeing Cops

St. Augustine (WTFF) – A Florida man was arrested after fleeing from the cops and calling 911 to brag about his escape. »

Florida Man Jumps into Crocodile Pit Wearing Crocs, Gets Chomped

St. Augustine (WTFF) – A Florida man was arrested after climbing into a Nile Crocodile enclosure at Alligator Farm and getting bit. »

Trump Van

Spotted at a Winn-Dixie Plaza in St. Augustine. Posted by Dumbasses of Florida. »

Crystal Methvin Arrested With Meth Again

St. Augustine (WTFF) – A Florida woman named Crystal Methvin and her Florida man counterpart were arrested after being found with methamphetamine. »

Drunk Florida Man Pulls out Knife and Taser at McDonald’s, yells “Get Out of My Country!”

St. Augustine (WTFF) – An altercation at McDonald’s ended with a Florida man pulling out a knife and a stun gun after yelling “get out of my country!” »

Florida Woman Lets Dentist Give Her Foot Massage, Complains About Infection

UPDATE: Action Jax News issued a correction to their original reporting on this story. Basically they misreported the entire story, so we’ve removed the article from our site as well. »

Florida man pulls out an AR-15 in road rage incident

St. Augustine – A road rage incident led a man to allegedly pull out his AR-15 and aim it across a road at the other driver, authorities said. Britt Meyer, 56, was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill, reports AJC. »

Drunk Florida Woman Attacks Boyfriend over Super Bowl Argument

Ponte Vedra Beach (WTFF) – A woman was arrested after injuring her boyfriend during an argument about who would win the Super Bowl. »

Florida Man convinces Florida Woman to Hide Cocaine up her Cooter in a Cop Car

Daytona Beach (WTFF) – Florida Man convinced his wife to conceal a plastic baggie of cocaine up her vagina while they were both sitting in the back of a cop car. »

Old man tourist has a heart attack after getting buried in sand

St. Johns County (WTFF) – Some old guy was rescued from Crescent Beach after getting buried in the sand and having a heart attack. »

Indian burial ground, Fountain of Youth Park, St. Augustine, Florida

From The Tichnor Brothers Collection, circa 1930–1945 »

Florida Woman named Crystal Methvin gets her 15th drug charge

Meet “Crystal Methvin,” a 40-year-old Florida Woman who lives in St. Augustine. On her rap sheet, St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office has listed 14 third-degree felonies of “possession of a controlled substance without prescription” (893.13.6a) and one first-degree misdemeanor drug possession/use (893.147.1). »

It’s gonna be really f*cking cold in Florida; impending snow, death, mayhem

(WTFF) – Put on extra pairs of socks before you step into your sandals this week, because Florida’s gonna get really f*cking cold and we’re all gonna die*. »

Halloween Costume Ignites Protest in St. Augustine

St. Augustine (WTFF) — A woman who wore “black face” to work for Halloween caused students to protest the restaurant. »

Naked Florida Woman Walks into Neighbor’s House and Eats her Pineapples

Floridians know that everything is better when done naked, so when 63-year-old St. Augustine woman Mary Hamilton stripped down and took a walk on a Wednesday afternoon, she was still far from earning the Florida Woman title. This is normal here… but the story does progress… »

Road raging Florida Man rams 16-year-old who was driving too slowly on Shands Bridge

A newly licensed teen and her family were victimized by road rage early Thursday evening when the driver of a pickup truck rammed their vehicle on the Shands Bridge, according to the St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office. »

Florida man rode bicycle to meet child for sex, deputies say

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. (WPEC) — A man from northeast Florida is behind bars, accused of trying to lure a child for sex. »

Florida Woman drunkenly bites man’s fishing line at St. Johns County pier

St. Johns County deputies arrested a woman after she bit a man’s fishing line and swam off with his lure, according to a police report. Deputies were called to the St. Johns County Pier on Tuesday at approximately 6 p.m. A fisherman told deputies that 22-year-old Alexandria Turner appeared to be intoxicated when she swam […] »

Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up

Dear Floridians (and everybody else), Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State. After the laughter […] »

Floridians For Freedom

Only the “Right Of Adults To Cannabis” amendment can secure your RIGHT to possess, cultivate, and use cannabis in a manner similar to your 2nd amendment right to “keep and bear arms” … think about that for a minute. Whether you agree or disagree with Americans right to gun ownership, the strength of this protected […] »

Florida man punches drive-through employee over cold fries

A St. Augustine man is behind bars after fighting with a Steak ‘n Shake employee over cold fries and punching her through a drive-thru window early Thursday morning, deputies say. Tavares Jones, 25, faces a misdemeanor battery charge after becoming angry when he was served allegedly cold fries and was called a racial epithet by […] »

Florida Man is in jail after recording himself having sex with a puppy

Billy Joseph-Edward Taylor is a 25 year old Florida Man. He thought it would be a good idea to email his own personal sex tape to his girlfriend, I guess to turn her on or whatever Florida couples do, but in any case: The video featured Billy Joseph-Edward-I-have-too-many-names Taylor having sexual contact with a young pit […] »

Florida man steals $246 worth of steaks, runs into woods to escape Publix employee

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. – Call him the ‘Beef Bandit.’ A 33-year-old St. Johns County man was arrested after running out of a Publix on Tuesday. He was charged with walking out with $246 of steaks. According to SJCO, Adam Barber entered the Publix at Mission Trace off State Route 16 around 7 p.m. In the […] »