The Difference

Rednecks will pull your stuck car out of a sand pit, cook good ol’ fashioned southern food for you and your friends (no matter what race or religion y’all are), and practice gun safety with all 100+ locked firearms they legally own.

Stupid Redneck Assholes drive their oversize pickup trucks 80 MPH through the bike lane while texting, believe that demographic shifts are white genocide, and shoot people in the face for parking too close to their vehicle.

Yankees bring in tourism dollars, improve traffic flow in Florida by invoking the useful “don’t block the box” rule, smile and appreciate the kindness of Floridians even if we’re a little weird.

Stupid Yankee Assholes drive like old ladies from Michigan and go 40 MPH below the speed limit in the passing lane, are always rude to cover up the fact that they’re ignorant, and vote against important things like education while taking advantage of our “no income tax” state.

Shirtless Micanopy Man threatens parents with rifle and dead possum

William Markham

The town of Micanopy doesn’t have much going on, except for a fully nude strip club that serves mediocre coffee (I-75 makes me sleepy, don’t judge).

54-year-old William Markham is one of the rare folks who actually lives in Micanopy.

His home is across the street from Micanopy Cooperative School on Northwest 2nd Avenue, and he often complains about all the parents parking on the street outside as they wait to pick up their pesky children. Full Story »