County: Sumter

Dewie Brewton, Brad King, and why we care

This case is about being held accountable for your actions. What Dewie did was illegal. His actions violate FSS 828.24. The FWC guidelines set by the AVMA explicitly prohibit drowning as a means for euthanizing an animal. There were other options, including release in a safe area outside of the school. Morally, of course, there […] »

The Villages: Beer and STDs

Thanks to Viagra, The Villages is a goldmine of lemon parties. Thanks to alcoholism and Gen Xer, Baby Boomer culture, booze are plentiful. Thanks to the Morse family, this bubble exists in the middle of Florida. The STD rate is actually pretty low in Lake, Sumter, and Marion counties, but The Villagers do like to […] »

The Villages

The Villages is the world’s largest retirement community, spanning 3 counties in the middle of Florida. They drive golf carts everywhere, from Publix to the doctor to any place that sells alcohol. Happy hour goes on all day, every day. They line dance, twerk, party and get drunk every night on the three main squares […] »

It’s gonna be really f*cking cold in Florida; impending snow, death, mayhem

(WTFF) – Put on extra pairs of socks before you step into your sandals this week, because Florida’s gonna get really f*cking cold and we’re all gonna die*. »

Bushnell Hotel Owner Crawls into Guest’s Room

Manishkumar B Patel
Imagine you book a hotel in Bushnell. Ignore the obvious logical fallacy here, we know that nobody in their right mind would ever want to spend the night in Sumter County, but that’s beyond the scope of this article. It’s 3 in the morning, and you wake up to a strange noise. »

Ringtones and The Villages

You haven’t seen true pandemonium until you’ve witnessed the mad fumbling of pocket and purse searching in The Villages when a default ring tone goes off. Suddenly, accompanying the alarm, an orchestra of candy wrappers and groans create a soundtrack to the story of each person desiring to answer their phone. Even the ones who […] »

Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up

Let's Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up
Dear Floridians (and everybody else), Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State. After the laughter […] »

Floridians For Freedom

fff-smokey
Only the “Right Of Adults To Cannabis” amendment can secure your RIGHT to possess, cultivate, and use cannabis in a manner similar to your 2nd amendment right to “keep and bear arms” … think about that for a minute. Whether you agree or disagree with Americans right to gun ownership, the strength of this protected […] »

Cops Discover Meth Lab, Golf Cart Chop Shop In Villager’s Garage

The Villages - Golf Carts
The Villages, a hilariously-large retirement community in Florida, is the fastest-growing “city” in the country—with more than 117,000 people, 48 golf courses, geriatric sex (with a resulting high rate of STDs), and absolutely no children (they’re only permitted to visit for up to 30 days a year). Residents primarily drive golf carts, with some luxury […] »