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WTF Florida?
WTF Florida?
WTFF News: Because regular news is depressing.
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Tag: Drugs

This Dangerous and Addictive Chemical is Being Sold to Children in Florida

(WTFF) – A deadly substance is being sold legally to children all over the state of Florida, resulting in addiction and poor health. »
Category: SatireFlorida Tags: Drugs, Health, Propaganda1 Comment
Satire

Florida Man Falls Asleep at Stop Sign in Pickup Truck with Meth Pipe on Lap

Eustis (WTFF) – A Florida man was arrested after being found asleep at a stop sign with meth pipes in his pickup truck. »
Location: Lake
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Florida Man, Meth, Pickup Trucks, Sleep1 Comment
Crime

Deputies Locate Tampa Parents Who Fled With Child

Tampa (WTFF) – A 1-month-old infant is now safe after deputies located the Tampa parents who ran off with him. »
Location: Hillsborough
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Bad Parenting, Child Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Drugs, Junkies, Trampites, TransplantsLeave a comment
Crime

Girl Gets Punched by LSD Tripping Florida Man at RaceTrac

St. Petersburg (WTFF) – A Florida man reportedly punched a 13-year-old girl inside a RaceTrac on Saturday while tripping on LSD. »
Location: Pinellas
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Florida Man, Gas Stations, LSD, Punching, Trampites2 Comments
Crime

Florida Couple Planned on Storming Florida Institute of Ultrasound with a Revolver

Pensacola (WTFF) – A married couple from Northwest Florida was arrested after planning to storm a school with their revolver. »
Location: Escambia
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Felon, Guns, Meth, Rednecks, School, School Shootings1 Comment
Crime

North Florida Woman Arrested for Giving Her 2-Year-Old Meth and Pot

Wakulla County (WTFF) – A 2-year-old child tested positive for methamphetamine and marijuana. »
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Bad Parenting, Child Abuse, Drugs, Florida Woman, MethLeave a comment
Crime

Upset over disability checks being cut off, Florida woman attempts suicide with ‘boost bars’ and cocaine

Clermont (WTFF) – A Florida woman was arrested for allegedly pushing her boyfriend and kicking officers after she took “boost bars” and cocaine to end her life. »
Location: Lake
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Cocaine, Drugs, Florida Woman, Suicide1 Comment
Crime

Florida Woman Tells Cops the Wind Blew Cocaine Into Her Purse

cocaine-purse-wind
Fort Pierce (WTFF) – A Florida woman who allegedly had cocaine in her purse blamed the wind. »
Location: St. Lucie
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Cocaine, Drugs, Excuses, Florida Woman1 Comment
Crime

Cocaine Blew Into My Purse

»
Category: ScreenshotsFlorida Tags: Cocaine, Drugs, Florida WomanLeave a comment
Screenshots

Doing Acid or Ecstasy Requires a Sitter

FLORIDA PRO TIP: When dropping acid or doing ecstasy, have a responsible sitter watching you. Otherwise you might end up stranded on an island that a swan carried you to, or trying on random women’s clothing at a Yacht Club neighborhood one night. »
Category: Random ThoughtsFlorida Tags: Acid, Drugs, EctasyLeave a comment
Random Thoughts

“High on Faith” and Acid, Florida Man Sneaks into Yacht Club and Looks for “Stupid People”

Clermont (WTFF) – A Florida man was arrested after allegedly loitering at a Yacht Club and taking clothes from a resident’s car. »
Location: Lake
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Acid, Drugs, Florida Man, Florida Native, Homelessness, Stealing, Tripping1 Comment
Crime

Florida Man Dies after Swallowing Cocaine During Traffic Stop

Milton (WTFF) – A Florida man is dead Tuesday morning after eating 7 grams of cocaine during a routine traffic stop. »
Location: Santa Rosa
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Cocaine, Drugs, Florida ManLeave a comment
Crime

Drones are delivering contraband to Florida prisons

Inmates are using drones to smuggle illegal items into prison. »
Category: TechnologyFlorida Tags: Drones, Drugs, PrisonLeave a comment
Technology

Florida Man Applies to a Job

Actual email to HR reading: “My name is ##### and I applied for ##### and was wondering if me smoking cocaine will effect my application. Thank you” Notice the incorrect use of “effect” rather than “affect,” proving that it’s really Florida Man. »
Location: Orange
Category: ScreenshotsFlorida Tags: Cocaine, Drugs, Florida Man, JoblessnessLeave a comment
Screenshots

Floridian Tells Cops “you’re not gonna search me,” Gets Searched and Arrested

Fruitland Park (WTFF) – A Florida man was allegedly found with meth and weed during a traffic stop. »
Location: Lake
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Florida Man, Hotels, K9s, Meth, WeedLeave a comment
Crime

False positive on field drug test puts an innocent woman in jail for 5 months

innocent-failed-field-drug-test
Pasco County (WTFF) – A woman in Florida was jailed for 5 months because of a failed field drug test administered by a Pasco County sheriff. The lab test took 7 months to come back, revealing it was only a vitamin. She was initially charged with trafficking oxycodone. »
Location: Pasco
Category: MadnessFlorida Tags: Civil Rights, Crooked Cops, Drugs, Innocent1 Comment
Madness

Florida Man Falls Asleep in Idling Car, Gets Busted for Drugs

Shawn-og
Mount Dora (WTFF) – A man was arrested in Central Florida after police allegedly found him sleeping in his car with cocaine and some weed. »
Location: Lake
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Cocaine, Dreadlocks, Drugs, Florida Man, New York, WeedLeave a comment
Crime

Georgia Man Breaks into an Assisted Living Facility in Eustis, Wreaks Havoc

JUSTIN-NEAL-CREED-og
Eustis (WTFF) – A man from Georgia broke into an assisted living facility in Central Florida, ransacked through garbage, and terrorized the staff and residents. »
Location: Lake
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Alcohol, Burglary, Drugs, Georgia Man, Old People, SmashingLeave a comment
Crime

BMXing Florida Man with SS Tattoo Busted with Weed, Meth, and a 3 Dollar Bill

brett sexton
Orlando (WTFF) – A Florida man was arrested after deputies found narcotics and a little weed on him. »
Location: Orange
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: BMX Bikes, Drugs, Florida Man, Meth, SS2 Comments
Crime

High School Teacher Arrested Downtown with Meth, Weed, Hash, and a Yuengling

Justin Martineau
Orlando (WTFF) – A man was arrested for walking around downtown with an open beer, a blunt, a vape pen with hash, and some meth, allegedly. »
Location: Orange
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Alcohol, Beer, Drugs, Meth, Teachers, Weed1 Comment
Crime

Florida Man convinces Florida Woman to Hide Cocaine up her Cooter in a Cop Car

Steven-Jamie-Schultz
Daytona Beach (WTFF) – Florida Man convinced his wife to conceal a plastic baggie of cocaine up her vagina while they were both sitting in the back of a cop car. »
Location: St. Johns
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Body Cavities, Cocaine, Drugs, Florida Couple, Florida Man, Florida Woman, HidingLeave a comment
Crime

Florida Attorney / Former Cop gets Busted for Trafficking Cocaine

Robert Carr, Brandon Byars and Logan Sebring. (Courtesy: WFLA)
Polk County (WTFF) – An attorney from Tampa, who was also a police officer, was arrested on drug trafficking charges along with two other men. »
Location: Polk
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Cocaine, Crooked Cops, Drugs
Crime

Miami Cop Busted for Snorting Cocaine in a Nightclub

Adrian Santos
Miami (WTFF) – A cop was fired after being caught on video snorting cocaine in a nightclub. »
Location: Miami-Dade
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Cocaine, Crooked Cops, Drugs1 Comment
Crime

Florida Woman named Crystal Methvin gets her 15th drug charge

Meet “Crystal Methvin,” a 40-year-old Florida Woman who lives in St. Augustine. On her rap sheet, St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office has listed 14 third-degree felonies of “possession of a controlled substance without prescription” (893.13.6a) and one first-degree misdemeanor drug possession/use (893.147.1). »
Location: St. Johns
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Meth1 Comment
Crime

Civilized Places versus Florida

civilized-places-florid
Florida’s a special place. Walk into a convenience store and ask for a “rose” and you get a crack pipe. Mention college and the majority of our people will think of sports first (but to be fair, that’s most of the south). And just in case you don’t believe the last one: Florida has the […] »
Category: Original MemesFlorida Tags: Bikes, Drugs, Pedestrian Accidents
Original Memes

Florida Man tells cop his new scooter came packed with meth, coke

scooter-fully-loaded
Key Largo (WTFF) – An unlicensed man driving a scooter full of meth, coke, and more, told the cop he that bought the scooter earlier and it came with the drugs. »
Location: Monroe
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Flakka Man, Florida Man, Meth, Scooters
Crime

Love in Florida

meth-love
All relationships with Florida Man eventually experience a moment like this. »
Category: Original MemesFlorida Tags: Drugs, Love, Meth
Original Memes

Middle schoolers snitch on teacher after she sells them bad drugs

Clewiston (WTFF) A substitute teacher in Hendry County has been arrested on drug and neglect charges. »
Location: Hendry
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Florida Boy
Crime

Melbourne Man Beats and Stabs His Friend For Eating His Pizza

melbourne pizza stab
Melbourne (WTFF) – A man in Brevard County was so upset about his friend eating his slice of pizza, that he hit him in the head with a golf club and stabbed him in the chest. Drew Cywinski is the 25-year-old Florida Man who did all this and got charged with aggravated battery with a […] »
Location: Brevard
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Flakka, K2, Knives
Crime

50-lb. block of cocaine washes ashore on Melbourne Beach

Melbourne Beach 50 pound coke
Melbourne Beach (WTFF) – A large block of cocaine washed up on the shores of Melbourne Beach. Brevard County sheriff’s deputies retrieved the large block of powdered narcotic about 11 a.m. ET Friday before Florida Man could crush it up and snort it all. »
Location: Brevard
Category: MadnessFlorida Tags: Beaches, Cocaine, Drugs
Madness

Escambia Cop Who Tried Killing Wife with Patrol Car Gets Probation

Deputy Timothy Taylor crash
Milton, FL (WTFF) — A Florida cop who ate some pills and purposely rammed his patrol vehicle into his ex-wife’s home has been sentenced to two years of probation. The incident happened back in November of 2016 in Milton, FL. »
Location: Escambia
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Abuse of Power, Cops, Drugs, DUI
Crime

Drug Induced Hallucinations Compel Florida Couple to Call Police

Tatum Guyer James Turner
JUPITER FARMS – A woman called 911 Monday afternoon. Three men were on her Jupiter Farms driveway, she told a dispatcher. One had a rifle. Another was trying to enter the home. What Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office authorities first thought was a home invasion turned out to be that woman’s cocaine- and Xanax-fueled hallucination, […] »
Location: Palm Beach
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Cocaine, Drugs, Xanax
Crime

Two Florida Moms Overdose on Heroin with their Newborn Babies in Car

mothers overdosed
BOYNTON BEACH, Fla. – Two women are facing child neglect charges after Boynton Beach police found them overdosed on heroin with their two infant children in the car, according to a police spokeswoman. »
Location: Palm Beach
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Bad Parenting, Drugs, Heroin1 Comment
Crime

Tampa Bay Man Tries Paying for Coffee with Prescription Muscle Relaxants

richard bourque
A Pinellas Park Dunkin’ Donuts got a curious barter offer from 30-year-old Richard Bourque late Monday evening. Like most Trampites, copious amounts of chemicals were probably eating away at his enthusiasm and causing drowsiness. He strolled into the Dunkin’ Donuts and ordered a coffee to combat lethargy. »
Location: Pinellas
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Florida Man
Crime

Delray Dealer Invites Police into Home, Exposing $300,000, Drugs, and Guns

Jovani Alexander Caprio
DELRAY BEACH – Jovani Alexander Caprio knew that his Delray Beach townhouse was filled with drugs and cash. But when he was asked by members of a Palm Beach County sheriff’s drug task force if they could check the home on the 100 block of Coconut Key Lane despite not having a warrant, Caprio agreed […] »
Location: Palm Beach
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Cocaine, Drugs, Florida Man, Guns
Crime

1-year-old overdoses on heroin in suburban West Palm Beach, caretakers arrested

Charlie Hagan Joseph Critelli
PALM BEACH COUNTY, Fla. – Two people are charged after a 1-year-old child overdosed on heroin at a suburban West Palm Beach home early this year, according to the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office. »
Location: Palm Beach
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Bad Parenting, Drugs, Heroin
Crime

Florida Man Brings Cocaine to Hospital Patient

Vincent Sperling
VERO BEACH — An Indian River Medical Center visitor was accused of providing a syringe of cocaine to a patient, according to an arrest affidavit. »
Location: Indian River
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Cocaine, Drugs
Crime

Florida Man steals $17 worth of potato chips using a machete

Dustin Odum
BAY COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE (Press Release) – The Bay County Sheriff’s Office was called to a business on Panama City Beach this [Monday] morning at about 11 a.m. in reference to a report of a man with a machete stealing items. »
Location: Bay
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Stealing
Crime

Florida elementary school teacher arrested on meth charges

The teacher was exonerated so we removed this story upon request. »
Location: Collier
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Meth
Crime

Florida Man with pockets full of drugs says pants were borrowed

Alvin Pierre Louis
FORT PIERCE — A man police found with pain pills in his pocket said he was unaware of the Percocet in his pants, saying he borrowed the trousers that morning. »
Location: St. Lucie
Category: CrimeFlorida Tags: Drugs, Florida Man1 Comment
Crime
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