Melbourne (WTFF) – A man in Brevard County was so upset about his friend eating his slice of pizza, that he hit him in the head with a golf club and stabbed him in the chest.
Drew Cywinski is the 25-year-old Florida Man who did all this and got charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and battery, according to palmbaydaily.com.
It all started Monday afternoon.
Florida Man Drew was hanging out in his home on Garfield Street, doing what most Florida Mans do for fun… drugs. Him and his friend took turns clumsily passing the pipe back and forth.
They were smoking K2, a synthetic drug that’s similar if not identical to Flakka. They chilled for a while smoking this “Spice” littered with toxic chemicals. People only smoke this stuff because A) they can’t afford weed B) they have a drug test soon or C) they’re fucking stupid. We are going to venture out and say these two friends fall into categories A and C.
His friend hopped on his bike and pedaled home, but planned to come back and smoke more K2. Again. And again. And again. As Flakka Man will do.
Some time passed. His friend was probably out buying Mountain Dew and Doritos; the true sustenance of Flakka Man’s diet.
Drew invited the friend over again, and they were hanging out on the back porch. They were chillin’, doing the same thing as always in a blissful stupor.
The friend shuffled over to Drew’s kitchen and ate a piece of pizza pie that was on the table, thinking nothing of it.
When he returned, Drew called him out for it, saying something like:
“That slice was for me!”
According to the police report, they we “at odds over recreational drug use,” and anyone who knows drug addicts knows exactly how this works. Junkies fight constantly about everything just to escape the suffering of not being as high as they were a moment ago.
The friend grabbed his backpack from the porch and headed towards his bike. He had enough of Drew’s drama.
He grabbed his bike and up comes Drew yelling at his friend:
“I’m gonna kill you!”
Drew bashed the friend’s head in with a golf club. The club snapped in half.
His friend grabbed a metal mop handle to defend himself and struck Drew, missing the head and hitting the arm instead.
That’s when Drew pulled out a 5-inch-knife and began to “carelessly swing” it at the man, as described by the police.
Melbourne police determined he charged at the man over 40 feet to intentionally harm him. Apparently his friend had almost escaped, but the knife-wielding Flakka Man was unstoppable.
Drew stabbed his friend in the chest more than once, and slashed him several times.
He was arrested and taken to the Brevard County Jail. He’s being held on a $20,000 bond.