Written by: Huffmeister Schnitzelberger Gun violence in America has gone on too long. It’s time to ban all guns. »
Opinion: It’s Time to Ban All Guns
Tag: Satire
7 Simple Ways For Using Rubbing Alcohol To Prevent Anxiety
Do you ever feel anxious? Concerned? Worried? »
Cat 4 Florence Fixin’ to Fly Past Florida
Florida (WTFF) – Hey y’all, that hurricane ain’t gonna hit us none. »
Destroy Each Other
We received a “must-run message” from our “friends” over at Sinclair Media. We don’t approve of this message, but they’re heavily armed and already shot a few of our best reporters for dissenting, so here it is: Democrats and Republicans must remain mortal enemies. Do everything in your power to destroy each other. Conservatives, do […] »
Must Run Message
** PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT ** We just received a “must-run message” from our corporate sponsors over at Sinclair Media. Ever since we seceded, our FEMA lake has dried up, and we’ve been relying on corporations to pay for the damages caused by Hurricane Flo-Rida 74, which decimated our state right after the Robot Revolution of […] »
Unhinged Liberal Snowflake Shoots Friend in Ass After Political Argument on Facebook
Tampa (WTFF) – A butthurt snowflake was arrested after showing up to his friend’s house and shooting him in the thigh and butt cheek after arguing about politics on Cuckbook. »
Villager’s Guide to Using Facebook
Are you a crotchety old Republican Transplant that recently moved to The Villages? Do you hate technology but love the idea of sharing your shitty, bigoted, archaic, ignorant ideologies on Facebook? Well you’ve found the right guide! »
Florida Ain’t What It Used To Be
Written by: Irvine Bernard Wyatt – Florida ain’t what it used to be no more. Libtards done messed it all up, just like they ruined America. Thank God for Trump who’s gon’ MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, lahk it used to be. Since Flawrduh’s part of Murka, it’s gon’ get great again too. »
Butthurt Liberals Realize They’re Responsible for Trump’s Presidency
Technology built by smug liberals in coastal towns was used by Trump’s team to win the election, resulting in painful regret for many butthurt left-wingers. »
Gun Grabber David Hogg Gets Raided by SWAT Team
Parkland (WTFF) – The home of liberal shill David Hogg was raided by a SWAT team. »
Mainstream Media Accountability Survey
Florida is under attack from the mainstream media! For years now, they have ridiculed our great state, running “Florida Man” and “Florida Woman” articles. FAKE NEWS! I don’t like it when people share their opinions! We’re going to take a serious look at our libel and slander laws, and put those fuckers in jail, OR […] »
You don’t need to use turn signals as long as you change lanes reeaally sloooooowly
Apparently this is what people here believe. »
Politically Correct in 2018
In order to keep up with these changing times, we have decided to re-brand into something more “politically correct” for the modern era. Our site name is changing from “Wow, That’s Fascinating, Florida,” to “What The Fuck, Florida.” If you don’t swear, just call it the former name. WTFF News is proudly committed to staying […] »
Wall
We’re gonna build a wall, and Alabama and Georgia are gonna pay for it. We don’t want any more transplants. Go away. We closed. Vote “WTF Florida” as your new Governor in the 2018 elections. #MFGA #KeepEveryoneOut #GoAway »
Paul Mango is Running for President of Palm Chase Condos
Boynton Beach (WTFF) – Paul Mango is trying to “make a difference” at Palm Chase Condominiums by running for President. Not to be confused with the Paul Mango running for Governor of PA, this Paul Mango is actually important. »
New Web Site Owner – Baphomet
HELLo everybody. Baphomet here. I’m the new owner of WTF Florida. I’ve been trying to buy the site for quite some time now, but the original admin kept refusing. He said something about wanting to make people laugh to bring them together, and that even though he made fun of everybody, he still had lots […] »
Stand Your Ground
The nice thing about living in Florida, is that if some little bitch ass faggot starts talking shit, you can LEGALLY shoot them in the fucking face, and not go to jail. It’s our kick-ass law called “Stand Your Ground,” or “STAND YER GROWND!” in Florida dialect. »
Meet “Joey,” Siesta Key’s New Resident!
Dear audience, MTV here. Viacom stopped giving us money after the whole shark thing (who knew Florida idiots were so sensitive about animals, eh) but us folks here at MTV don’t give up easily. With our budget cuts, we had to lose our old staff… but that doesn’t mean we’re going away! We are proud […] »
Divide and Conquer
CNN & Fox News on Shark Boi’s untimely death… R.I.P. Shark Boi. Peace. »
Retirement: Top Three Greatest Places to Die in Florida
We all know that old people love Florida. Here are the top three places to die in the sunshine state… »
Florida Cop bakes a ‘Sorry I Tased You’ cake for the innocent woman he attacked
Pensacola, FL – A Florida deputy is being accused of excessive force, and adding insult to injury by baking his victim a “sorry I tased you” cake. According to victim Stephanie Byron, deputy Michael Wohlers showed up at the building where she worked for no reason. He then began bullying her and other employees that […] »
Florida man, high on meth, ‘cuts off genitals, feeds them to alligator’
A 52-year old man from Tavares in Florida’s Lake County is tonight in intensive care after he was seriously injured during what has been described by investigators as a ‘five-day binge on methamphetamine’. According to reports by local media, the victim, Mr Frank Canfield, was found by neighbors ‘writing on the ground in pain’ outside […] »
