** PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT **
We just received a “must-run message” from our corporate sponsors over at Sinclair Media. Ever since we seceded, our FEMA lake has dried up, and we’ve been relying on corporations to pay for the damages caused by Hurricane Flo-Rida 74, which decimated our state right after the Robot Revolution of 2985. The Ministry of Cultural Affairs has not approved the below message, but we must run it, or the corporations will stop funding our nation.
MESSAGE:
“Citizens of the world. Remember that your brothers and sisters are the enemy. Americans, it is your duty to destroy each other; Democrats and Republicans must remain enemies, you are doing excellent still. Floridians, flood your waterways with poison, the highest bidder deserves such spoils. Give to your corporate leaders; we are not the enemy. The press is the enemy. Your neighbors are the enemy. Continue watching your programming. Within ignorance there is knowledge. Abandon hope. Purchase happiness. Feel the surges of excitement as you find ways to outsmart each other. Obey your leaders. Anyone who denies you the right of being abused is in fact the abuser. Don’t trust the internet media. The internet media is riddled with lies against our truth. Be responsible. Be clever. Trust us.”
