florida orange post card
Evil actions are like oranges. At first they’re sweet, but after a while they spoil, turn rotten, and bring you suffering. Good actions are like a fruit that only ever ripens, and never turns sour. »

The Differences between Rednecks and Yankees

WTF Florida?
Among the many distinct cultural groups in Florida, The Rednecks and The Yankees are often the most discernible. Each group has a specific subgroup of “stupid assholes,” which we will attempt to define here using brief examples. It’s important to remember that not all Yankees and not all Rednecks are the same. Judging an individual […] »

The Florida Code

When giving directions in Florida, you must always start with the words, “take I-75,” “take I-4” or “take I-95.” When crossing the border into Florida forget all driving rules you ever knew. Turn your blinky lights on when it’s raining. If you’re a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely cannot drive between the hours of […] »

New Comments Sytem – Disqus

alligator on computer
We have switched over to disqus for the site’s commenting system. After updating our site to HTTPS to be more secure, we fell victim to a Facebook bug that has affected many other sites. Long story short, we tried many different hacks to save your brilliant comments, but all of those methods would introduce other […] »

New Web Site Owner – Baphomet

satan again
HELLo everybody. Baphomet here. I’m the new owner of WTF Florida. I’ve been trying to buy the site for quite some time now, but the original admin kept refusing. He said something about wanting to make people laugh to bring them together, and that even though he made fun of everybody, he still had lots […] »

Andy the Arhat Anole

Never give up. Never feel alone. Never get discouraged. You see this lizard? All day long he chants Metta (loving-kindness) for YOU, because you matter. His name is Andy. He’s a Brown Anole who attained Arhatship (Nirvana, more or less). You can chant with him using the translation below… »

WTFF Theme Song

If you ain’t claimin’ Fluridah, fuck ya’ll hoes If you ain’t claimin’ Fluridah, fuck ya’ll hoes If you ain’t namin’ Flawrdah, fuck ya’ll hoes »

Lazy Person’s Guide to Surviving a Hurricane like a Pro

hurricane blowing
So, the mad scramble begins. Stores are shutting down, gas stations are wrapping up their pumps, and people are panicking… especially the newbies here. Veteran Florida People are not worried. How can you, as a non-native who failed to buy supplies ahead of time, survive this storm? Well it’s very easy. Learn from the locals, […] »

Greedy Bitches

If you’re one of the people who bought 6 months worth of bottled water and gas right at the last minute, you just fucked over thousands of people by preventing them from having any at all. You have a moral responsibility to share if this storm really does do some damage. Don’t be a greedy […] »

Evacuations = Instant Concealed Weapon Licenses for Everyone in Florida

Thanks to an amendment made in 2015 by Rick Scott, anytime Florida issues a mandatory evacuation, you are automatically allowed to carry a concealed weapon, even if you don’t have a concealed weapon license. 2015-concealed-weapon-bill-evacuation.pdf This is great news for everyone. Now we can shoot back at any hurricane that threatens us. Lock and […] »

New Site Upgrades

wtf florida logo
We made some big changes to the mobile version of our site. We hope it makes your browsing experience more enjoyable. Contact us and let us know if we fucked something up, and we will try get it fixed. You can also send compliments to our Web Engineers who we keep locked up in the […] »

Massive Manatee Orgies Underway

It’s the “busy season” for these gyrating giants. Just let them get their freak on, and try to stay out of the way. Give Mating Manatees Their Space! We’d like to remind beachgoers, boaters and the general public to keep your distance if you see a manatee mating herd in Florida waters. It’s very common […] »

Florida Culinary Arts School

WTF Florida is branching out to build a college. We are just as legit as Full Sail, Keiser University, Florida Memorial, and Trump University. Your degree will be totally valid, and we promise you won’t get laughed at for showing your diploma to an out-of-state employer. Learn the art of cooking really fucking fantastic food. […] »

MTV Siesta Key Audition Answers

Siesta Key
So, we made this fake audition page to bring attention to how MTV’s Siesta Key endorses animal abuse: Aaaand, we got some people signing up… here are some of the hilarious results (try to guess who thinks it’s real versus people trolling): »

Boycott 1-800-Ask-Gary Hotel on Siesta Key

Boycott stamp
*Everyone* should call/write/email the Sarasota Commissioners, as well as the ‘Siesta Key Association’, and tell them you don’t support a Hotel on Siesta Key built by Gary Kompothecras. He’s got attorneys, and is trying to bully this thing into getting built. Currently “Captain Curt’s Crab/Oyster Bar”, and “Clayton’s Siesta Grille” have said they support Gary […] »

Email from Sarasota County Film & Entertainment Office

Hi, thanks for connecting.  I understand and respect the concerns of everyone seeing this situation unfold, and like everyone, am waiting to see the outcome of the various investigatory actions underway by authorities and the fact-finding they make public. There has been no indication to our office that a second season is being considered, but […] »

Sarasota County and MTV Siesta Key – Public Record Documents

Files: The first PDF contains potential filming locations and contacts and more, the second PDF is an insurance agreement between Bobby Aguilar of Entertainment One Reality Productions and a few Sarasota County departments. The third file is a DOCX of their production schedule. mtv_siesta_key_wk_4-10_to_4-15 Entertainment_One_signed001 4Entertainment_One_production_schedule Email response: RE: Public Records Request of 8/8/2017, Reference […] »

Boycott These MTV Siesta Key Sponsors

Boycott stamp
Download the original list in a twitter-ready text file… MTV Siesta Key Sponsors: MTV Viacom Secret Deodorant Mountain Dew Tobacco Free Florida Extra Gum Gain Know The Real Cost Arby’s Dr Pepper Metro PCS Gatorade eBay Dawn Dish Sour Patch Kids Taco Bell Mr Clean Frontier Corp Gifted (Movie) Cox Auto Sony Pictures Victorias Secret […] »

RSS Feed

The location of our raw RSS feed is If you run a website or blog, and want to feed our latest posts easily, and without any geeks around, just copy/paste this code into the HTML of your site: »

Boycott Siesta Key MTV

Siesta Key Show MTV
Look, Florida’s f*cked up enough from all these outsiders coming here and desecrating our beautiful state. We don’t need any more visitors… and certainly not more privileged, sexist, racist, spoiled brats who torture animals. Share these photos, and keep the pressure on. One of the guys on the show (the producer’s son) is friend’s with […] »

Florida Dictionary

Florida Cracker – (noun) – The Earl of Dartmouth said it best in the 1760’s: “I should explain to your Lordship what is meant by Crackers; a name they have got from being great boasters; they are a lawless set of rascalls on the frontiers of Virginia, Maryland, the Carolinas, and Georgia, who often change their […] »