Here’s a list of felonies in Florida, just in case you’re trying to become Florida Man and need some pointers. Good luck. »
(107 found)
Category: Information
Fun Florida facts, site updates, Florida culture, and more…
Information categories:
Banned from Facebook Again, Again
So, it’s happened again. We’re not ignoring you on Facebook, we’re just banned for a week. »
Politically Correct in 2018
In order to keep up with these changing times, we have decided to re-brand into something more “politically correct” for the modern era. Our site name is changing from “Wow, That’s Fascinating, Florida,” to “What The Fuck, Florida.” If you don’t swear, just call it the former name. WTFF News is proudly committed to staying […] »
Banned from Facebook Again
So, we got banned from Facebook again. That’s what we get for shit-posting. It’s all in good fun, but sometimes people get offended. On the good side, it shows that people do still care, on the bad side, it shows that people care more about stupid jokes than they do about actual problems plaguing our […] »
Weeki Wachee Springs State Park Hiring Mermaids
Like swimming? Good at holding your breathe? Wanna be a mermaid? Weeki Wachee Springs is hiring! »
Oranges
Evil actions are like oranges. At first they’re sweet, but after a while they spoil, turn rotten, and bring you suffering. Good actions are like a fruit that only ever ripens, and never turns sour. »
The Differences between Rednecks and Yankees
Among the many distinct cultural groups in Florida, The Rednecks and The Yankees are often the most discernible. Each group has a specific subgroup of “stupid assholes,” which we will attempt to define here using brief examples. It’s important to remember that not all Yankees and not all Rednecks are the same. Judging an individual […] »
Florida somehow scores number 2 on ‘best drivers’ list
In a stunning moment of cognitive dissonance, Floridians are catching wind of bizarre headlines claiming that Florida has the second best drivers in the country. »
Open Letter to the 13th Judicial Circuit
We sent the following letter to the Office of the State Attorney for the Thirteenth Judicial Circuit (email address [email protected]) on December 18, 2017: »
2017 Accidental Shootings
So far this year, 106 people have stopped a crime because they pulled out a gun… but, because this is Florida, 128 people have accidentally shot themselves or another person. »
The Florida Code
When giving directions in Florida, you must always start with the words, “take I-75,” “take I-4” or “take I-95.” When crossing the border into Florida forget all driving rules you ever knew. Turn your blinky lights on when it’s raining. If you’re a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely cannot drive between the hours of […] »
Effects At Specific Blood Alcohol Levels
The effects of alcohol intoxication are greatly influenced by individual variations among users. Some users may become intoxicated at a much lower Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) level than is shown. »
New Comments Sytem – Disqus
We have switched over to disqus for the site’s commenting system. After updating our site to HTTPS to be more secure, we fell victim to a Facebook bug that has affected many other sites. Long story short, we tried many different hacks to save your brilliant comments, but all of those methods would introduce other […] »
Florida Man is over 100 years old
The Tennessean, August 9, 1925 »
SSL Security Now Implemented on WTFFlorida.com
Hi everybody. Tech guy here. We just made our site more secure to help protect your data. You should now see a little green lock icon and/or a “Secure” message near the address bar while browsing WTFFlorida.com. Be sure to message us if you find any bugs. Thanks! »
The Real Florida Natives
New Web Site Owner – Baphomet
HELLo everybody. Baphomet here. I’m the new owner of WTF Florida. I’ve been trying to buy the site for quite some time now, but the original admin kept refusing. He said something about wanting to make people laugh to bring them together, and that even though he made fun of everybody, he still had lots […] »
Publix Rap
One day, someone in Florida will make a rap song about Publix, and it will break the internet. »
Andy the Arhat Anole
Never give up. Never feel alone. Never get discouraged. You see this lizard? All day long he chants Metta (loving-kindness) for YOU, because you matter. His name is Andy. He’s a Brown Anole who attained Arhatship (Nirvana, more or less). You can chant with him using the translation below… »
WTFF Theme Song
If you ain’t claimin’ Fluridah, fuck ya’ll hoes If you ain’t claimin’ Fluridah, fuck ya’ll hoes If you ain’t namin’ Flawrdah, fuck ya’ll hoes »
Lazy Person’s Guide to Surviving a Hurricane like a Pro
So, the mad scramble begins. Stores are shutting down, gas stations are wrapping up their pumps, and people are panicking… especially the newbies here. Veteran Florida People are not worried. How can you, as a non-native who failed to buy supplies ahead of time, survive this storm? Well it’s very easy. Learn from the locals, […] »
Greedy Bitches
If you’re one of the people who bought 6 months worth of bottled water and gas right at the last minute, you just fucked over thousands of people by preventing them from having any at all. You have a moral responsibility to share if this storm really does do some damage. Don’t be a greedy […] »
Evacuations = Instant Concealed Weapon Licenses for Everyone in Florida
Thanks to an amendment made in 2015 by Rick Scott, anytime Florida issues a mandatory evacuation, you are automatically allowed to carry a concealed weapon, even if you don’t have a concealed weapon license. https://www.flsenate.gov/Session/Bill/2015/0290/BillText/er/PDF 2015-concealed-weapon-bill-evacuation.pdf This is great news for everyone. Now we can shoot back at any hurricane that threatens us. Lock and […] »
New Site Upgrades
We made some big changes to the mobile version of our site. We hope it makes your browsing experience more enjoyable. Contact us and let us know if we fucked something up, and we will try get it fixed. You can also send compliments to our Web Engineers who we keep locked up in the […] »
Stand Your Ground
The nice thing about living in Florida, is that if some little bitch ass faggot starts talking shit, you can LEGALLY shoot them in the fucking face, and not go to jail. It’s our kick-ass law called “Stand Your Ground,” or “STAND YER GROWND!” in Florida dialect. »
Letter to State Attorney: Shark Dragging Incident
A formal decision from the 12th Judicial Circuit State Attorney is expected by mid-August as publicly announced by assigned Assistant State Attorney Andrew Van Sickle to the shark dragging incident. But still NOTHING has been done. Four men allegedy dragged a shark going at super high speeds while the still-live black tip sharks body was […] »
Let us make you feel like you’re in Florida
WTFF is here to show the whole world how it feels to live in Florida (minus the heat). Live vicariously through us, so that when someone asks you: You can safely say: »
Massive Manatee Orgies Underway
It’s the “busy season” for these gyrating giants. Just let them get their freak on, and try to stay out of the way. Give Mating Manatees Their Space! We’d like to remind beachgoers, boaters and the general public to keep your distance if you see a manatee mating herd in Florida waters. It’s very common […] »
Florida Culinary Arts School
WTF Florida is branching out to build a college. We are just as legit as Full Sail, Keiser University, Florida Memorial, and Trump University. Your degree will be totally valid, and we promise you won’t get laughed at for showing your diploma to an out-of-state employer. Learn the art of cooking really fucking fantastic food. […] »
MTV Siesta Key Audition Answers
So, we made this fake audition page to bring attention to how MTV’s Siesta Key endorses animal abuse: MTV.WTFFlorida.com Aaaand, we got some people signing up… here are some of the hilarious results (try to guess who thinks it’s real versus people trolling): »
Deliver the Shark Petition
Join us Monday, August 21 from 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM at the Manatee County Building Department to deliver our petition. We will be gathering in the courtyard facing the building. Come any time you can, even it’s just on your lunch break. »
Shark-drag investigation uncovers other violations
link to article: »
Tell Pedigree to STOP running ads on MTV’s ‘Siesta Key’
The star of Siesta Key and his friends enjoy abusing animals. Pedigree advertises on the show’s commercial breaks. This is a problem… »
Tallahassee’s Witch Grave
This historic headstone is said to mark the final resting place of a doubly-dead good witch. »
Boycott 1-800-Ask-Gary Hotel on Siesta Key
*Everyone* should call/write/email the Sarasota Commissioners, as well as the ‘Siesta Key Association’, and tell them you don’t support a Hotel on Siesta Key built by Gary Kompothecras. He’s got attorneys, and is trying to bully this thing into getting built. Currently “Captain Curt’s Crab/Oyster Bar”, and “Clayton’s Siesta Grille” have said they support Gary […] »
Email from Sarasota County Film & Entertainment Office
Hi, thanks for connecting. I understand and respect the concerns of everyone seeing this situation unfold, and like everyone, am waiting to see the outcome of the various investigatory actions underway by authorities and the fact-finding they make public. There has been no indication to our office that a second season is being considered, but […] »
Sarasota County and MTV Siesta Key – Public Record Documents
Files: The first PDF contains potential filming locations and contacts and more, the second PDF is an insurance agreement between Bobby Aguilar of Entertainment One Reality Productions and a few Sarasota County departments. The third file is a DOCX of their production schedule. mtv_siesta_key_wk_4-10_to_4-15 Entertainment_One_signed001 4Entertainment_One_production_schedule Email response: RE: Public Records Request of 8/8/2017, Reference […] »
Boycott These MTV Siesta Key Sponsors
Download the original list in a twitter-ready text file… MTV Siesta Key Sponsors: MTV Viacom Secret Deodorant Mountain Dew Tobacco Free Florida Extra Gum Gain Know The Real Cost Arby’s Dr Pepper Metro PCS Gatorade eBay Dawn Dish Sour Patch Kids Taco Bell Mr Clean Frontier Corp Gifted (Movie) Cox Auto Sony Pictures Victorias Secret […] »
Twitter conversation with Priest John Bulla
Priest John Bulla, from Pensacola, FL, was kind enough to reach out to us on Twitter. We are kinda new to this whole twooting thing, and after we liked a couple of his posts, we got our very first direct message from the one and only Priest John Bulla… »
RSS Feed
The location of our raw RSS feed is wtfflorida.com/feed If you run a website or blog, and want to feed our latest posts easily, and without any geeks around, just copy/paste this code into the HTML of your site: »
