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The Difference between Rednecks and Yankees

Rednecks will pull your stuck car out of a sand pit, cook good ol’ fashioned southern food for you and your friends (no matter what race or religion y’all are), and practice gun safety with all 100+ locked firearms they legally own.

Stupid Redneck Assholes drive their oversize pickup trucks 80 MPH through the bike lane while texting, believe that demographic shifts are white genocide, and shoot people in the face for parking too close to their vehicle.

Yankees bring in tourism dollars, improve traffic flow in Florida by invoking the useful “don’t block the box” rule, smile and appreciate the kindness of Floridians even if we’re a little weird.

Stupid Yankee Assholes drive like old ladies from Michigan and go 40 MPH below the speed limit in the passing lane, are always rude to cover up the fact that they’re ignorant, and vote against important things like education while taking advantage of our “no income tax” state.

The Difference between Rednecks and Yankees

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[…] by the “liberal elites.” That’s actually pretty easy to do, because of all the Stupid Yankee Assholes moving to Florida in droves and pissing off the Stupid Redneck Assholes. Those damn transplants […]

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