Florida Woman tells cops to wait so she can have sex

Priorities…

Ain’t that love? These two went out with a bang…

This 30-year-old Jacksonville local, Leanne Hunn, was cooped up in a mobile home with her boo thang, 34-year-old Ryan Patrick Bautista. This guy was wanted by the police, who showed up at the trailer park to arrest him. The cops tried getting in for 45 minutes, and even called Leanne on the telephone..

She told the cops to wait, because she wanted to finish having sex with Ryan “one last time” before they arrested him… So in a stunning moment of white privilege, our good ‘ol boys in blue let them finish. The SWAT team then showed up  and our lovers were arrested and charged with resisting arrest and false imprisonment.

This really is a beautiful story though. I think anyone facing jail time would add a couple extra resisting arrest months to bust a nut.

So even though Florida is a giant shit hole full of trailer parks, at least there is still love…

These two put the Fuck in What the Fuck. Thank you Florida Woman and Florida Man, your bravery and dedication will be honored all over crappy news sites like this one, forever.

Selling stolen motorcycles on Facebook is a bad idea

This 19 year old Fruitland Park resident, Casey Robert Dean, is in jail after stealing two motorcycles and selling them on Facebook.

Casey Robert Dean sold stolen dirt bikes on Facebook

Allegedly, he stole two dirt bikes from someone’s garage. In a stroke of brilliance he decided to sell them via Facebook post. In the first transaction he got an Xbox 360 and fifty bucks… then he scored a sweet pressure washer in a Sam’s parking lot in Lady Lake. Both of these transactions were initiated and discussed on Facebook. Our young entrepreneur is now is now facing $12,000 bond.

Police interviewed the kid and he told them “it was just a crazy idea” and that he was “learning from it.”

So I hope we all learned that it’s a bad idea to steal motorcycles and then sell them on Facebook. Thanks Florida Man, we all learned something today.

 

Source: https://www.villages-news.com/

Florida Man is in jail after recording himself having sex with a puppy

This Florida Man had sex with a puppy and filmed it.

Billy Joseph-Edward Taylor is a 25 year old Florida Man. He thought it would be a good idea to email his own personal sex tape to his girlfriend, I guess to turn her on or whatever Florida couples do, but in any case:

The video featured Billy Joseph-Edward-I-have-too-many-names Taylor having sexual contact with a young pit bull.

They broke up later and she turned him in out of spite. There exists a $10,000 bond for anyone disgusting enough to release this Florida Man.

He had been arrested twice before this, but only over stealing some rings to fund his dreams of becoming a tattoo artist

WTF Florida?

 

Sources:

https://www.news965.com/news/news/local/florida-man-arrested-recording-himself-having-sex-/nn34X/

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/florida-man-arrested-recording-sex-puppy-article-1.2399025

Small plane crashes into trailer park near Lake Worth

Small plane crashes into trailer park

This happened in a trailer park near Lake Worth, Florida, just below West Palm Beach. “When I look back at the video it was like, ‘Whoa,’” said Tyron Caswell to the Sun Sentinel newspaper. It appears from the articles that several families were affected and are being helped by Red Cross.

Authorities and investigators are wondering WTF? as to how or why the plane crashed, and what are the odds of it hitting a trailer park in Florida?

Sources:

https://www.hngn.com/articles/140000/20151014/small-plane-crashes-florida-trailer-park-unknown-number-victims-authorities.htm

https://nypost.com/2015/10/14/small-plane-crashes-into-florida-trailer-park/

Florida Woman covered in chicken wing sauce and blue cheese gets arrested for assaulting her boyfriend

Apparently her boyfriend had been lying about how much money he was making, so this woman, Trisha Brower, shows up at the hamburger joint he works at and confronts him about the $145 difference. You see, rent was due and this live-in boyfriend of hers was holding out.

After a little argument she starts walking out and decides in all of her Florida glory to throw chicken wings at him. Because that’s how adults in Florida resolve conflict.

“When she threw the container with the chicken wings, the blue cheese dressing and wing sauce splattered all over her and partially on him,” a report states.

She also tried punching him and spitting on him, but our burger-making hero was swift and avoided the blows.

And so the story ends with this 35-year-old Port St. Lucie woman going to jail covered in chicken wing sauce and fromage bleu

Source: https://offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com/

SunRail a.k.a. SunFAIL hits a dump truck

SunRail a.ka. SunFail
SunRail a.ka. SunFail

First of all, this is the most laughable form of public transit to date. I’d rather ride a donkey to work. They’re closed on weekends and holidays, have an extremely limited schedule, slow as fuck, overpriced, and most annoyingly of all: there is nowhere to fucking go once you get off the train stops! No taxis, no reliable buses, no rental bikes… SunRail a.k.a. SunFail is a complete fucking waste of tax dollars. As if that wasn’t enough, they want to spend more money to EXTEND the route to the boondocks and COMPLETELY BYPASS THE AIRPORT. What in the goddamn fuck Florida?

Anways, back to the story. This happened on Orange Avenue near Holt Avenue in Winter Park. Basically some Florida fuck PARKED his DUMP TRUCK on the TRAIN TRACKS (nobody really knows why or has asked), and when shithead realized SunFail was coming, he quickly (but not quickly enough) tried to move it out of the way. 8 people were injured and the train was stopped for a couple hours. Good fucking job Florida Man.

Source: www.orlandosentinel.com

Florida Man on probation for autotheft heads to police station (in a stolen vehicle) to pick up some stuff he left in another stolen vehicle.

Carnell-Eugene-Butler

Of course this happened in Tampa, the butthole of Florida. This guy actually showed up at a police station in a stolen car, to pick up his personal items that he left in ANOTHER stolen car… yo that’s way too easy for these cops, at least make them work a little…

Source: https://www.wtsp.com/

Florida man attacks with a hot sauce bottle in fight over graham crackers

Police say a man threw a hot sauce bottle and knocked his victim unconscious in a fight over graham crackers.

This guy, Shawn Thomas, knocked a man out with a hot sauce bottle after he asked for his graham crackers. This Florida Man was not happy about giving up his graham crackers.

According to a police report, Thomas also punched another man in the throat when he tried to intervene.

Thomas is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and battery.

The Palm Beach Post reports the 40-year-old and a 57-year-old victims were taken to a hospital but their conditions were not known.

 

Sources:

https://www.newsherald.com/article/20151010/NEWS/151019979

https://www.pbso.org/index.cfm?fa=blotter

Florida Man lights himself on fire for “Facebook Fire Challenge”

Robert Seals was taken to the hospital with second and third-degree burns after he doused himself with rubbing alcohol and dared a friend to light a match and hold it to his clothes. Now this 15 year old is on life support and is being treated for severe burns.

Read more: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3261922/Florida-teen-life-support-doing-fire-challenge.html#ixzz3oCqvm4Kb