WTFF News: F*ckery you can count on.
Bringing you the latest in dumb criminals, absurd antics, and ridiculous happenings, right here in the Gunshine State.
A Duval County teacher is suspended without pay after students allegedly flashed their breasts and twerked in his classroom. Full Story »
Florida Counties by STD Rate:
Total Gonorrhea, Chlamydia & Infectious Syphilis, 2015
* – Indicates the county rate is statistically significantly different from the statewide rate. Sorted by Rate from highest to lowest.
Rates Versus Counts:
Rates and counts are often used by epidemiologists to describe disease in a population. Though both rates and counts can be fairly simple to calculate, it is important to understand how they are used, how they differ and how to interpret them.
Counts, also called frequencies, are fairly straightforward. Counts are the total number of events that occur in a defined period of time. The total number of cases of Salmonellosis reported in Houston during 2000 would be an example of a count or frequency, e.g. in 2000, 227 cases of Salmonellosis were reported.
Rates are the number of events that occur in a defined period of time, divided by the average population at risk of that event. In order to estimate the rate of Salmonellosis in Houston during 2000, divide the number of reports of Salmonellosis in 2000 by the population of Houston in 2000. This is roughly equivalent to calculating the percent of people with Salmonellosis in Houston in 2000, e.g. cases in 2000 Population in 2000 = 227 1,953,631 = 0.00012.
Trampites are a peculiar species. Here in Florida, we just get used to their antics. We smile and nod as they describe their disturbing sexual escapades. We adapt to their unpredictability; from their avoidance of using turn signals to their random public masturbation, we find ways to safely share the beautiful state of Florida with these invasive creatures.
Floridians are not afraid of hurricanes… except Paul West. Full Story »
You haven’t seen true pandemonium until you’ve witnessed the mad fumbling of pocket and purse searching in The Villages when a default ring tone goes off.
Suddenly, accompanying the alarm, an orchestra of candy wrappers and groans create a soundtrack to the story of each person desiring to answer their phone.
Even the ones who had their grandkids update their ringtones leap out of their geriatric slumber to answer the incoming call… It could be important.
Perhaps it’s the IRS calling to verify their social security number. Maybe it’s a shipping update on that Viagra order.
The rumpus is further exaggerated as wives plead with their weary husbands to hurry up, disparaging their every effort with wrinkly contempt.
Everyone over 60 fumbles through their belongings.
Peppermint candies and Werther’s Originals scatter across the floor. Lightly crumbled tissues float away. Hands get stuck in pockets. Walkers and canes tumble. Hips are broken. Emergency rooms are inundated. Such is life in the world’s largest retirement community.
ABC Action News reports:
FORT MYERS, Fla. — A Florida woman got creative with spare spray paint and plywood and made a sign to get the power company’s attention.
“I thought that all of my neighbors would get a huge kick out of it,” said Kynse Agles.
She posed for a photo next to her pink sign that reads, “Hot single female seeks sexy lineman to electrify her life.”
Full Story »
Living in Florida can be stressful.
More often than not, an ejaculation can safely unravel the knotted web of frustration spun into our minds by the scolding heat and insanity that we face on a daily basis.
Porn helps with this release immensely, especially for those on a tight schedule. Most people can agree it’s harmless, and even has medical benefits such as lowering blood pressure.
Not Ross Spano… Full Story »
On Monday, September 11, 2017 an unknown male suspect became involved in a physical altercation with a 66 year old female victim at Texaco located at 7148 Philips Highway. The suspect punched the victim in the face and she fell to the ground. The victim sustained a serious head injury and is now in critical condition. Full Story »
Meanwhile at a Jacksonville Jaguars game…
Nothing sane ever happens in a Waffle House, it’s basically just a place where people go to sober up via carbs. Nothing proper ever happens in North Florida, it’s basically just lower Alabama. So, when you combine these two forces, they reverse polarity and create something amazing…
Take for instance, this drunk 28-year-old man in Okaloosa County.
He was at a Destin Waffle House, and reached over to the plate of a guest, snatching her bacon and eating it right in front of her.
Full Story »
Sometimes good things happen in Florida. Cute headlines make national news against the torrent of derelicts that toply rank our Florida Man articles.
These good headlines are not always what they seem.
Take for instance:
“Florida Man With Terminal Cancer Fulfills Dying Wish, Marries a Long Lost Love After Reconnecting on Facebook…”
Sounds great, eh?
Problem is, he’s used his “cancer” to con a bunch of women out of their money.
Ken Boyer’s cancer diagnosis is also completely fake.
WKMG Orlando dug into the story and found a bunch of old ladies that got scammed, including one that gave him $22,000.
When Inside Edition tried to interviewed him, he did what any Florida Man would…
He pulled a gun on the news anchor.
Click Orlando also did some research on his scams.
So ladies, be vigilant, and never ever believe a Florida Man.