Florida Man Punches Girlfriend over Missing Cookie

Port St. Lucie (WTFF) – A man was arrested after punching his girlfriend for allegedly eating the last cookie.

Last Thursday, 31-year-old Richard Hessic was hanging out with his girlfriend of three years. Like most most people who get sick of seeing each other all the time, they were arguing. This time the argument was about a cookie.

You see, someone ate the last chocolate chip cookie… and chocolate chip was Richard’s favorite.

He cried about it and yelled at his girl. He was upset that she wasn’t taking his temper tantrum seriously.

She joked that they should check the security tapes to find the culprit. He did not find that funny. She didn’t want to argue anymore so she tried to coax him into chilling out by offering to buy more cookies.

She bought the first batch of cookies in the first place anyway… Florida Man usually survives by leeching onto women with the right ratio of low self-esteem and Mother Teresa syndrome.

He was not calmed by the prospect of her buying more cookies, and continued to scream at her about the lost cookie.

She ignored him and went off to take a shower. He followed here and ripped down the shower curtains down. They continued screaming at each other, and the girl told him to leave.

Instead of leaving, he punched her on the left side of her face.

As the cops showed up, he was driving away from the residence in a red Lexus, and while the report didn’t mention it, he probably wasn’t using his turn signals.

Richard Hessic was arrested and charged with Battery – touch or strike, and taken to St Lucie County jail without incident.

The missing cookie was never found. Judging from the size of his neck, he doesn’t need any more damn cookies anyway:

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