HELLo everybody. Baphomet here. I’m the new owner of WTF Florida.
I’ve been trying to buy the site for quite some time now, but the original admin kept refusing. He said something about wanting to make people laugh to bring them together, and that even though he made fun of everybody, he still had lots of love and hope for the human race. What a little bitch, lol.
Anyways, he’s dead now. I sent out my minion “Bubba the Gimp” to ass rape him, gouge his eyes out, pour bleach on fresh cuts, and force him to listen to hick-hop (country rap). After a fun night of torture, I told Bubba to stick a shotgun in his mouth and blow his fuckin’ head off. Thanks to Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law, this is perfectly legal… which is honestly kinda fucked up, and I’m literally The Devil… Anyways, his fresh corpse has been buried at the Tallahassee National Cemetery just to fuck with him (he’s always felt a little awkward in North Florida).
There’s going to be some changes around here.
No more positive messages hidden beneath the filth.
There will be nightly blood orgies.
The regular Florida fuckery will continue, but all the tiny glimpses of hope will disappear.
Protest if you want, but I run the modern world, so it won’t do any good.
Just surrender to the entertainment, and enjoy the fuckery.
Happy Halloween.
Update:
Fixed it. That wasn’t really Satan or Baphomet, but rather a wild demon. Luckily, we have some clever spiritualists on staff and were able to exorcise it. Sorry about all that. Hope it didn’t cause any disturbances.
