Newton’s First Law of Florida:
Every peninsula in a state of uniform fuckery tends to remain in that state of fuckery unless a logical force is applied to it.
Newton’s Second Law of Florida:
The relationship between a person’s stupidity s, their bravery b, and their overall Floridaness F is F = sb. As stupidity and bravery increase, so does their overall Floridaness.
Newton’s Third Law of Florida:
For every Florida Man or Florida Woman there is an equal and opposite Floridian.