God bless Florida Man, for his crimes that hurt no one. He is truly free, something that upsets and frightens those who wish to control the masses.
While Catholic priests boink little boys in the butt and church leaders use tithe money to hide the truth, Florida Man simply strips his clothes off like supralapsarian Adam, innocently nude and meandering through the streets, devoid of perversion, yet judged as a pervert.
While politicians take bribes to perpetuate the “school to prison pipeline,” Florida Man, who dropped out of school at a young age, drunkenly drawls out real-world knowledge and tells us to never trust the government.
While pharmaceutical industries peddle poison through “pain clinics” and knowingly supply the black market of opiates, Florida Man takes MDMA and goes to Lake Eola to “be with the swans because they don’t judge him.”
While the U.S. becomes the laughing stock of the world, Americans point their fingers at our peninsula and ridicule our ways of life.
The same way you judge others, you will be judged. Just remember that.
Love one another and let Florida shine.
