Catholics and Birth Control

WTFF News would like to thank the Catholic Church for their hard-line stance against birth control. Pulling out is just fine, but using “the pill” is an abomination. Obviously the “pull out method” is rather ineffective and leads to pregnancy. Because of all the unplanned pregnancies, many of the oops babies who miraculously survived into adulthood became Florida Mans and Florida Womans. We encourage reckless breeding, as it fuels the economy of fuckery, which in turn produces better headlines. Thank you for all your efforts.