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Study Finds That Everyone in Florida is Stupid

Everybody in the Sunshine State is stupid, research reveals

The Internet (WTFF) – A recently released study indicates that every single person in Florida is stupid.

The findings come as no surprise to anyone who’s ever been to Florida or read Florida news.

“I thought everybody knew that already,” said one Floridian, perhaps.

Researchers at the Florida Department of Totally Real and Not Fake Statistics published their findings online today. Soon, corporate media will regurgitate the data, without verifying it, in order to secure clicks and sway public sentiment, as they always do.

Is everyone in Florida stupid?

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Another research project is underway that tests the hypothesis that everyone from Florida is stupid, now that we know for an absolute indisputable fact that everyone in Florida is stupid.

Family Guy has already asserted the former:

Please contact the Florida Department of Totally Real and Not Fake Statistics if you have any proof that everyone from Florida is stupid.

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Study Finds That Everyone in Florida is Stupid

Category: Satire
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Anonymous
Anonymous
30 days ago

The stupidest people in Florida are the Florida hillbillies, despite no hills.
These are native Floridians who never left the state for a better career & now harbor
resentment at anyone who did. A lot of these people occupy menial service jobs, so prepare yourself for a tsunami of stupidity no matter what you call for (a pizza, a remodel, a repair, an apartment, a delivery, etc.).

The meanest, most disrespectful people in Florida are transplants from New England,
especially New York & New Jersey. These sell-outs traded in their one and only life
for a pressure cooker existence for the dream of fleeing one day, only to find
themselves old, physically ruined, & forever mentally on the Jersey Turnpike. These are the great-apes driving 2x the speed limit, even through school zones.

If you are thinking to move here I suggest a newer (2022+) gated community. The older
gated communities are filled with riffraff that got in when it was cheap. The associated cronies (children) create endless property crime. Newer communities are much more expensive, and thus weed-out cronies raised on a shoestring. However, older gated communities are getting better all the time as increased property taxes work their magic.

If you want to know if you would fit in at the beach do this one simple trick: find a large, run-over dead flattened bullfrog on a paved road & ensure it is dry (come back in a few days if its not). Next, scrape it off the road, stand it up in the sand, & lightly spray red paint on its upper parts to simulate a perpetual sunburn, especially on the bald head. If this looks like you, you will blend in well.

Anonymous
Anonymous
3 months ago

I’m not sure you can differentiate between the stupid people from Florida and those that move to the State. Most of the people that live here are from the North and the Midwestern States. That should answer your question where the stupid comes from and the additional low IQ’s. (OHIO, MISSOURI in particular, IL, MI, MN, Etc. etc.
It is the type of people that move to FL. You do know what slides down hill, RIGHT.

Anonymous
Anonymous
10 months ago

The Postal workers and UPS drivers cannot read. People are just lazy but want a paycheck. I am leaving FL. I cant live in a state of stupid people. I am moving back north

Anonymous
Anonymous
1 year ago

Satire? Some Floridian thinks this is satire, but Florida is the only state in the union where stupidity passes as knowledge. And

Anonymous
Anonymous
1 year ago

Dumber than dirt! And meaner than alligators…how stupid are they? One of them will read the last sentence and think it is a compliment.

Gustav
Gustav
1 year ago

Being expose to the sun rays at 90° or more for several hours a day, causes brain melting and stupid thinking. Florida is the undisputed Capital of Imbeciles and weirdos. At least 90% of the population are dumber than a bag rocks.

Anonymous
Anonymous
1 year ago

Think about it Florida is Americas Dick, look how it hangs and if it breaks off, the only thing we will miss is Disney and Universal Studios.

trackback
2 years ago

3consecration

Anonymous
Anonymous
2 years ago

There is a reason for lower IQs in much of the south…the disparity with northern states would look even worse if not for transplants from the north coming down, breeding with Floridians, and having children that are semi-normal.

from the time that America was founded, the lazy headed south. The north has it’s problems, but as far as the people living there are concerned, they at least have a little going for them when compared to the deadwood in the American south. Living in the north you have to have something the ball or you will freeze to death in winter – you have to get off your ass and make fire wood or have a job in order to pay for the fuel that you’ll use in winter. Not so in Florida, where you can lay in the gutter and survive.

Nobody who visits a Walmart or even a Publix in Florida can reasonably contend that the people there are not morons. There is at least a 20 point IQ gap between those living in the south for generations and those living in the north for the same period of time, with the south on the losing end.

If it were not for Mickey Mouse, Florida would be little more than a flop house for the lazy and for Cubans whining about Castro 60 years after they were forced out. If you are worried about Cuba, do the US a favor and move backthere.

Anonymous
Anonymous
3 years ago

I’ve been here for 10 long dreadful years now. It really sucks living here. Coming from Seattle, Portland, and Washington, D.C. Metro area. Where there is intelligence and bourgeoisie of abundance. First off, many of the people are ultra racist, and many hate black people. I’ve met some ultra racist Mexicans, and some racist Cuban’s down here. Some of them hate black people as much as some white people here. I don’t want to generalize anyone’s culture. However, it’s not all of Floridian’s. It’s just the natives, and other folks from other Southern state’s. Furthermore, the massess of caucasians in the state of Florida that I’ve met are really racist, and uneducated, and not very intellectual, or articulate. The Governor is a racist, and is homophobic; islamophobic, xenophobic, transphobic, and sexist. He doesn’t like black people, especially black males. Now, the police here in Florida are extremely racist!!! I would say about 99.99% of them are racist!!! Many of them are cruel and barbaric! One thing I notice about Florida is, nobody seems to bathe or take a shower. Many people smell horrible. No one seems to wear good-smelling perfume or cologne. I’ve smelled people, who smelled like they were homeless, who haven’t bathed in years. On the other hand it’s way too HOT here!!! They don’t even have winter. The coldest it gets his like 50 degrees. Another thing is, there are too many Caribbean Islanders down here. Most of them are ultra, conservative, and ultra, belligerent, and hostile. All they broadcast on the radio is Fox news. There are no critically thinking, Independent Media stations down here. You can’t get Democracy Now with Amy Goodman. All you get, is Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh. They have NPR however, their ultra right-wing too. That’s why Florida is so dumb down. Another thing, Donald Trump lives here. We all know they love Donald Trump. They’re a bunch of idiots that live here. They also drive like idiots as well. This is a gun-toting… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous
3 years ago

Is anyone up for a random mass death count via Coronavirus? Say at least half? Not just in Florida but world wide. I keep feeling like as a planet and society we could really use it.

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

I just moved back to cold ass Ohio from Florida bc I didn’t like the people

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

Those who take this seriously proves the point of the piece.

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

Good God, people. It’s clearly marked SATIRE. Sheesh.

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

self entitled city folks with minds polluted by hoa mentality that infected their iq

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

THANK YOU FOR THE MUCH NEEDED SATIRICAL RELIEF FROM NETWORK NEWS.
WE NEED MORE LAUGHS AND LESS STONE-THROWING

IzBdeSmartz
IzBdeSmartz
4 years ago

Florida, building stronger stoopid has always been our goal!
achieving it en masse since 1979
Just when you thought you met the most in depth moron, we’ll prove you wrong!
Come for the sun, stay for the FloriDUH show!

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

All stupid people are highlighted in blue on our election map.

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

Good lord, people, simmer down. It’s supposed to be a joke. Do you actually think that a study conducted by the “Florida Department of Totally Real and Not Fake Statistics” is real?? C’mon now…..

Tom E.
Tom E.
4 years ago

I’ll put Florida ahead of California or New York any day of the week.

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

the smart ones leave

R Crane
R Crane
4 years ago

I live in Florida and I am not stupid. We have our share of stupid people but did you know most people who live in Florida are transplants.

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

Worst drivers in the world. Plus the slowest customer service white trash everywhere

Feel Good Florida
Feel Good Florida
4 years ago

This is just offensive, not funny, and proves that anyone who believes this trope – and there appear to be many – is a media sheeple. Read. Google any crime or weird occurrence, categorically, and you’ll find it’s not unique to Florida. Stand up to this ridiculous and untrue stereotyping and media bias.

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

I visit Florida often. I like to pretend I’m a snowbird. If I were to actually live there more than one months of the year I fear I may get dumber.

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

soooo can we all go on disability then if we are so stupid??? sounds go to me! 🙂 lol

Anonymous
Anonymous
4 years ago

I think you are rude and wrong about Florida. If you want to talk and write an article that is so out there. Then you better include every state. The state should sue you.