The Villages Archives - WTF Florida?

Senior Citizens Strong-Arm Their Way into Starbucks Drive-Thru in The Villages

The Villages (WTFF) – A pair of senior citizens harassed a driver and attempted to burglarize a vehicle as they forced their way into the drive-thru line at a Starbucks in The Villages. »

Drunk Florida Man Reportedly Urinates in Front of Villagers at Gator’s Dockside

The Villages (WTFF) – An intoxicated Florida man was arrested after reportedly urinating on a light pole in front of a Gator’s Dockside restaurant in the world’s largest retirement community. »

Violent Crime in The Villages Increases More Than Any Other Metro Area in Florida

The Villages (WTFF) – The world’s largest retirement community has seen a 35.7% increase in violent crime from 2012 to 2017. »

Villager’s Guide to Using Facebook

Are you a crotchety old Republican Transplant that recently moved to The Villages? Do you hate technology but love the idea of sharing your shitty, bigoted, archaic, ignorant ideologies on Facebook? Well you’ve found the right guide! »

The “Moving to The Villages” Starter Kit

The Villages: Beer and STDs

Thanks to Viagra, The Villages is a goldmine of lemon parties. Thanks to alcoholism and Gen Xer, Baby Boomer culture, booze are plentiful. Thanks to the Morse family, this bubble exists in the middle of Florida. The STD rate is actually pretty low in Lake, Sumter, and Marion counties, but The Villagers do like to […] »

The Villages

The Villages is the world’s largest retirement community, spanning 3 counties in the middle of Florida. They drive golf carts everywhere, from Publix to the doctor to any place that sells alcohol. Happy hour goes on all day, every day. They line dance, twerk, party and get drunk every night on the three main squares […] »

Upset with Hospital Wait Time, Florida Man Steals an Ambulance

Lady Lake (WTFF) – A Central Florida man was arrested after stealing an ambulance from a hospital in the world’s largest retirement community. »

Villager Arrested for Violating a DUI Probation

The Villages (WTFF) – Deputies arrested a Villager who violated a DUI probation originating in Sumter County. »

Florida man tells deputy: I couldn’t pass field sobriety test ‘if I was sober’

A Florida man who was stopped for driving his golf cart erratically told a deputy he couldn’t pass field sobriety tests if he were sober. »

Deputies Taze Naked Man in The Villages… Twice

It’s the middle of the night in the Village of Buttonwood. Most of the retirees are sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware that a naked man is running around outside… »

Old Man Steals Kid’s Phone and Gets Gun Pulled on Him in Road Rage Incident

Meanwhile in The Villages, the world’s largest retirement city… 57-year-old Anthony Albert Arjbay was cruising along County Road 466 on the afternoon of July 1st, probably on his way to a shuffleboard tournament or something. A young whippersnapper in a Honda passed him. »

Cops Discover Meth Lab, Golf Cart Chop Shop In Villager’s Garage

The Villages, a hilariously-large retirement community in Florida, is the fastest-growing “city” in the country—with more than 117,000 people, 48 golf courses, geriatric sex (with a resulting high rate of STDs), and absolutely no children (they’re only permitted to visit for up to 30 days a year). Residents primarily drive golf carts, with some luxury […] »

Villager goes on wild golf cart ride after getting drunk at community pool

A Villager who admitted to drinking wine at a community pool was arrested after a wild ride in her golf cart Tuesday afternoon in the Village of St. Charles. Joyce Hellkamp Smith, 62, of the Village of St. Charles, had been at the wheel of a green golf cart at about 2 p.m. when someone […] »

Retirement: Top Three Greatest Places to Die in Florida

We all know that old people love Florida. Here are the top three places to die in the sunshine state… »