Record Number of Gator Bites for 2017

Great job everyone!

It’s half way through 2017, and we have already tied the 2001 record of 16 gator attacks.

If we are going to break that record and set a new Florida standard, we must do the following:

• Feed any alligators you find to make them less afraid of people
• Always be drunk when you play golf
• Always be drunk in general
• Carry a concealed weapon, allowing you to taunt the gator with no fear
• Play with any baby alligators you find
• Go swimming in lakes
• Dive for golf balls

Good luck out there, Florida People, together we can break our 2001 record of 16 gator attacks, and make 2017 the new standard.