Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up

Let's Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up
“Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up.”

Dear Floridians (and everybody else),

Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State.

After the laughter comes tears. The victims of Florida’s insanity aren’t laughing (unless they’re truly demented, which happens sometimes). We have a responsibility to improve Florida as much as we can.

WTF Florida would like to state a new mission:

We are dedicated to becoming a Karma Neutral State.

We want Florida’s karmatic number to be perfectly balanced at zero. Laughing at other people’s misery brings negative karma. Doing fucked up shit brings negative karma. Helping people who have been fucked over by Florida’s insanity brings you positive karma. We are still going to make fun of everybody who shows up on this site, but we are also going to start getting more serious about fixing stupid shit.

From this point on, we will occasionally start petitions to bring about justice, and to fix things that are unfair or that defy morals. We encourage our readers to help, not only by signing and sharing these petitions, but to also create them yourselves and to contact your representatives when appropriate. Please contact us if you have an issue that is important to you.

Send us info about your non-profit group or activism group, and we will try to get you more views (if you don’t mind being associated with us). Use the Contact page and let us know what you’re about.

All big problems start small. You can make a difference today by doing little things. Give a homeless person a bottle of water. Ask a local school what supplies they need and gift them with what you can afford. Use your fucking turn signals. The list goes on.

Help us help our state.

Let’s work together for the greater good.

Let’s make Florida slightly less fucked up.

 

 

Floridians For Freedom

fff-smokey

Only the “Right Of Adults To Cannabis” amendment can secure your RIGHT to possess, cultivate, and use cannabis in a manner similar to your 2nd amendment right to “keep and bear arms” … think about that for a minute.

Whether you agree or disagree with Americans right to gun ownership, the strength of this protected right is clear and viewed my many as absolute. Floridians For Freedom​ believes adults right to whole plant cannabis should be comparable and hopes you agree. Full Story »

Florida Woman’s Gun Accidentally Fires, Shoots Mall at Millenia Shopper in Leg

Crime-Gun-Shooting-Shots-Fired-Gun

The Orlando Sentinel reports the shooting happened outside the Mall at Millenia on Saturday. Orlando police Lt. Robert Terrell says a handgun in a woman’s purse accidentally fired a bullet through her bag and hit the victim in the lower leg.

This happened outside the mall, near the Macy’s department story.

The victim/shooter was taken to the hospital for non-life-threatening injuries. Further details have not been released.

This is actually pretty common in Florida… browse through our “Accidental Gunfire” tags for more miserable Florida hilarity

Hot Air Balloon Crash Lands into Pond Full of Alligators

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A hot air balloon carrying 17 people ended with an emergency landing in an alligator-infested pond.

“Orlando Balloon Rides” said in a statement:

“The pilot of an Orlando Balloon Rides passenger balloon is being praised after making a split second decision to intentionally make a water landing this morning. A change of wind direction at ground level just before touchdown meant the pilot was forced to make a quick decision — risk contact with powerlines, or land the balloon in a nearby retention pond.”

The crash happened near State Road 429 at Western Way, near Disney World. Nobody was injured. Full Story »

TSA officer steals money from passenger during pat down at MCO

TSA officer Alexander Johnson

ORLANDO, Fla. — A Transportation Security Administration officer has been arrested after police said he stole money from a passenger at Orlando International Airport.

An arrest report said Kathleen Duddleston, a passenger at the airport, entered a TSA checkpoint lane at OIA on Thursday and required additional screening.

Police said Michelle Metz, the lead TSA officer, conducted a pat down on Duddletston.

While she was going through her screening, Duddleston told Metz she couldn’t see her luggage to which Metz responded by moving the woman closer.

Once again, Duddletston said she couldn’t see her bags properly, prompting TSA officer Alexander Johnson, 22, to move only slightly, according to an arrest report.

Police said after the pat down, Duddleston walked to retrieve her bag and checked to see if her money was still there, but discovered it had gone missing. Full Story »

Anti-Gay Protestor Arrested At Pulse Nightclub On Massacre’s One-Year Anniversary

Anti-Gay Protestor

“Warning: All homos will burn like faggots in hell.”

Police handcuffed an anti-LGBT protestor outside Orlando’s Pulse nightclub today, the one-year anniversary of the brutal attack on the nightclub that left 49 dead and many more wounded.

The unnamed suspect was one of three demonstrators holding signs reading homophobic messages like “Sin = Death” and “Warning: All homos will burn like faggots in hell”

As he was cuffed, the crowds chanted “Love conquers hate.” Full Story »