Florida Man does Chicken Dance to Distract Police

PORT ST. LUCIE — When stopped by Port St. Lucie police, Shane Forsythe started doing the “chicken dance.”

But rather than celebrating the law enforcement encounter, police say Forsythe’s fowl jig served a foul purpose – functioning as a diversion for the passenger in his sport utility vehicle to run away, according to an arrest affidavit.

Police stopped Forsythe’s Ford Explorer on May 11 after noticing it had a missing headlight, “extremely” cracked windshield and two bald tires.

Police reported the vehicle was traveling erratically and that it appeared the passenger and driver were wrestling over the wheel.

When the Ford pulled in a driveway on Southeast Walsh Terrace, the driver – Forsythe – got out.

Full Story ⤳

Florida Cop Accidentally Shoots and Kills 73 Year Old Librarian As Crowd Watches in Horror

Mary Knowlton

A 73-year-old librarian became the latest victim of police in Punta Gorda, Florida. However, her tragic death — in front of 34 people, during an officer’s demonstration about police use of deadly force — is far from the, unfortunately common, tales of violence by law enforcement.

Mary Knowlton signed up to be a student in the citizen police academy hosted by the Punta Gorda Police Department, intended to show residents of the small town why and how officers do what they do.

After the group of 35 participants toured the police station and spoke with officers — a popular public relations tactic used by departments across the country amid the epidemic of police violence — Knowlton and another person decided to volunteer for a demonstration.

To illustrate how and when officers decide to use lethal force, the officer had the two students role-play a scenario putting citizens in cops’ shoes. Full Story ⤳

Florida Woman tells cops to wait so she can have sex

Priorities…

Ain’t that love? These two went out with a bang…

This 30-year-old Jacksonville local, Leanne Hunn, was cooped up in a mobile home with her boo thang, 34-year-old Ryan Patrick Bautista. This guy was wanted by the police, who showed up at the trailer park to arrest him. The cops tried getting in for 45 minutes, and even called Leanne on the telephone..

She told the cops to wait, because she wanted to finish having sex with Ryan “one last time” before they arrested him… So in a stunning moment of white privilege, our good ‘ol boys in blue let them finish. The SWAT team then showed up  and our lovers were arrested and charged with resisting arrest and false imprisonment.

This really is a beautiful story though. I think anyone facing jail time would add a couple extra resisting arrest months to bust a nut.

So even though Florida is a giant shit hole full of trailer parks, at least there is still love…

These two put the Fuck in What the Fuck. Thank you Florida Woman and Florida Man, your bravery and dedication will be honored all over crappy news sites like this one, forever.