Tag: Hurricanes
Get Out
26 Kilos of Cocaine Wash up on Shore, Thanks to Hurricane Dorian
Melbourne (WTFF) – As Hurricane Dorian meandered along the east coast of Florida, it launched bricks of cocaine onto our beaches. »
Florida Man Goes Sail Surfing as Hurricane Dorian Approaches
SpongeBob Evacuates
Posted by @realrobinhood18 on Twitter with the caption: “You know shit is serious when spongebob is evacuating” »
Publix Made a Hurricane Dorian Cake
In true Floridian fashion, Publix made a hurricane cake. A hurricake? »
Hurricane Dorian Survival Tips
Another hurricane is fixin’ to slam Florida, so we’ve prepared this handy guide. Follow these tips to stay alive and brave the storm like a true Floridian. »
Water Section in Walmart Before Hurricane Dorian
Hurricane Dorian is coming. Stock up on water before it’s too late. »
Hurricane Dorian Headed Towards Florida
Florida (WTFF) – Hurricane Dorian is en route to slam our peninsula this weekend. »
Power Rangers
Hurricanes are a valuable tool in gentrification
Hurricanes are a valuable tool in gentrification. »
Cat 4 Florence Fixin’ to Fly Past Florida
Florida (WTFF) – Hey y’all, that hurricane ain’t gonna hit us none. »
Tampa Man Escaping Irma Gets Arrested for Lewdness in Massachusetts
Trampites are a peculiar species. Here in Florida, we just get used to their antics. We smile and nod as they describe their disturbing sexual escapades. We adapt to their unpredictability; from their avoidance of using turn signals to their random public masturbation, we find ways to safely share the beautiful state of Florida with […] »
Florida Woman Seduces Linemen into Fixing Her Power after Irma
ABC Action News reports: FORT MYERS, Fla. — A Florida woman got creative with spare spray paint and plywood and made a sign to get the power company’s attention. “I thought that all of my neighbors would get a huge kick out of it,” said Kynse Agles. She posed for a photo next to her […] »
Prisoner Jumps out of Bus Trying to Escape and Dies
A prisoner transport bus was traveling down the Turnpike in Lake Worth Monday afternoon. The passengers had evacuated because of Irma, and were returning to the South Florida Evaluation and Treatment Center in Florida City. »
Fixing Power Poles
Spiderman Cleans Up Irma’s Mess
Riverview Blvd in Bradenton, Florida »
Florida Couple Escaping Hurricane Irma Crash Car into Atlanta Hotel Swimming Pool
ACWORTH, Ga. – Two Floridians who fled to metro Atlanta to escape Hurricane Irma credit a local police department with helping them recover from a freak accident here that almost cost them their lives. »
Wakeboarding in the parking lot of a Sears
West Palm Beach, after Hurricane Irma: »
Riding out Hurricane Irma on a Boat
“It’s logic, I’m on a boat, I float.” -Florida Man »
Florida Nun Cleans Up Irma’s Mess with a Chainsaw
This service is probably worth like 100 Hail Mary’s… »
Irma’s Aftermath
Welp, finally have power, so back to it… »
Ax-Wielding Guest Threatens Man who Gave Him a Place to Stay During Hurricane Irma
A Port St. Lucie man, trying to do the right thing during Hurricane Irma, learned that no good deed goes unpunished. He was letting Tarvice Lamar Payne stay at his home in the 900 block of SW Connecticut Terrace during the storm when his guest attacked him, according to Port St. Lucie police. Payne, 33, […] »
Florida idiot plans to tie himself to post during Hurricane Irma
This morning, a Miami man told an NBC reporter that he plans to secure his shirtless body to a post outside while the Category 4 Hurricane Irma hits. »
Pinellas County Surviving Hurricane Irma
We gotta do better than this Florida… Thank you to the Florida resident who sent this in. We love our crazy state. »
Florida Man eloquently provides advice during Hurricane Irma
A true Floridian provides advice to the non-Natives… »
Pasco County Sheriff encourages Florida people to NOT shoot at Hurricane Irma
This had to be said, because, well, Florida… »
Miami Man Kite Surfs Hurricane Irma
Gotta love Miami people… »
Hurricane Music
Here’s a few our favorites at WTFF News. These songs are designed to eliminate your stress, get you moving, and take your mind off the land-approaching cyclone. Quit worrying (especially you non-Natives), just get up and dance. Enjoy! »
Miami-Dade Trashcan 500 Race
Lazy Person’s Guide to Surviving a Hurricane like a Pro
So, the mad scramble begins. Stores are shutting down, gas stations are wrapping up their pumps, and people are panicking… especially the newbies here. Veteran Florida People are not worried. How can you, as a non-native who failed to buy supplies ahead of time, survive this storm? Well it’s very easy. Learn from the locals, […] »
Florida HQ on Hurricane Irma
Irma on track to be the most catastrophic storm for Florida, says Governor Rick Scott “Hurricane Irma is beginning to better, err, to batter the Florida Keys with dangerous winds…” One good thing about our state is we have very interpretive interpreters… »
Greedy Bitches
If you’re one of the people who bought 6 months worth of bottled water and gas right at the last minute, you just fucked over thousands of people by preventing them from having any at all. You have a moral responsibility to share if this storm really does do some damage. Don’t be a greedy […] »
Naked Hurricane Party
OK, so Reuters fucked up the information, but thankfully a Facebook fan corrected us. This is actually in Land O’ Lakes, Florida at a clothing optional resort called “Caliente.” »
Florida man falls to death installing storm shutters ahead of Hurricane Irma
DAVIE, Fla. – The first Hurricane Irma-related death to be reported in South Florida happened Thursday in Davie, authorities said. Davie police said a 57-year-old man died after falling off a ladder while putting up shutters at a home in the Shenandoah area. “I never seen anything like that in my life, though. So, it’s […] »
Polk County Sheriff’s Office tells evacuees seeking shelter from Hurricane Irma that they will be escorted to jail if they have a warrant
Redditor GALACTICA-Actual has a brilliant exposition on this: I’m ex law enforcement, and yes, this was an asshole move. I don’t know anything about this guy, so I’m not going to try to speak to his motivations, but this is problematic in a few ways. Yes, if we run someone for a warrant and they […] »
Irmageddon
A modest collection of Hurricane Irma memes… »
10 Safest Florida Cities from Hurricanes
Did your city make the list? »
Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Irma is Going to Kill You and Everything You Love
This is totally not click-bait. We are totally NOT exploiting a potential natural disaster that could kill thousands of people just to boost our advertising revenue. Nobody does this, especially not big news sites. »
Florida Man arrested after doing burnouts in front of news crews during hurricane
DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) – A Minneola man seeking an extra thrill during Hurricane Matthew was arrested after doing burnouts in his truck around reporters in Daytona Beach. 20-year-old Brandon Ware was arrested early Friday morning for reckless driving and booked into the Volusia County Branch Jail. The t-shirt Ware was wearing was […] »
