82-Year-Old Florida Woman Spits on Officer’s Face at Publix

Josette Jordan

When you think of grandmas going grocery shopping, it’s normal to imagine gentle women cutting out coupons and writing checks as they hold up the line. It’s normal to imagine mild-mannered sweetness emanating from them, disarming your frustration and making you smile at the slight inconvenience of being stuck behind them at the checkout lane.

This is Florida though, and we are anything but normal. Full Story »

Florida Woman beats a man for denying her sex

Rebecca Lynn Phelps

“Stop hitting me!” cried out a Florida Man at 2am on Thursday.

Florida Woman Rebecca Lynn Phelps smacked him in retaliation to the request.

She screamed with anger and left red marks on his face. She then scratched him.

Blood dripped down from the scratch on his arm as he threatened to call 911.

Just two Floridians doing some late-night S&M? Nope, not in this case (that woulda been Tampa) …

This man was getting his ass kicked because he refused to have sex with her. Full Story »

Florida Woman stabs her electrocuted boyfriend, tells cops a ‘black man with a mohawk’ did it

Christina Ann MacCornack and Christopher Thomas Jacobs
Christina Ann MacCornack and Christopher Thomas Jacobs

The lives of Florida Couples remain a mystery to many. They are reclusive creatures who only venture out late at night to party, and are rarely seen in broad daylight.

Thanks to the blunders of an Avon Park duo, we have yet another narrative of what really happens inside these Florida Couple habitats.

It all started on a Sunday evening, August 27th, when Christopher Thomas Jacobs, a Florida Man, tried changing a light bulb.

Because he’s from Florida, that very simple task of changing a light bulb resulted in him getting electrocuted.

He survived and went to the hospital.

This near-death experience didn’t stop his Florida Woman girlfriend, Christina Ann MacCornack, from arguing with him. Upon his return from the hospital that night, the couple continued arguing about drugs. Full Story »

Florida Woman defends herself against a racist woman

racist_florida-dagg

This video (which was later deleted) came from a Facebook post by someone named “Austin,” who captioned it with the following:

Ok so lady in the blue sundress said something super racist about how “you know these Haitians” and sis in the gray was not having it. She then lied to the police and said the other girl started it, when everything was caught on video. Full Story »

Florida Woman drunkenly bites man’s fishing line at St. Johns County pier

Alexandria Turner

St. Johns County deputies arrested a woman after she bit a man’s fishing line and swam off with his lure, according to a police report.

Deputies were called to the St. Johns County Pier on Tuesday at approximately 6 p.m.

A fisherman told deputies that 22-year-old Alexandria Turner appeared to be intoxicated when she swam up to his fishing line and cursed him out.

She bit the line and swam away with the rigging, according to the police report.

When deputies asked Turner to come to the pier office where the fisherman had rented the pole, she became belligerent and refused to walk inside, the report said.

Deputies said Turner began creating a scene and upsetting the “sense of public norm at the pier” when they tried to take her into protective custody.

It was all pretty normal for Florida, up until that point. We hate seeing our people get arrested for silly things.

She refused to let deputies handcuff her and screamed, “I’m (expletive) naked!” several times, the report said.

Deputies arrested Turner on suspicion of disorderly intoxication and resisting arrest without violence. Full Story »

Florida Woman caught snorting cocaine in parent pick-up line

Christina Hester

 

LEE COUNTY, Fla. –

An officer caught a woman in a Lee County school parent pick-up line snorting cocaine off her iPhone.

The report states the school resource officer at Lexington Middle School spotted Christina Hester, 39, through a second-floor window chopping a white substance on her phone. The officer said he saw Hester use a straw to snort the cocaine. Full Story »

Cops arrest drugged, topless Leesburg woman

Mandy Deane Jones

LEESBURG – Police on Wednesday arrested a woman who was apparently high on methamphetamine and running around naked in her neighbor’s yard.

According to an arrest affidavit, police received a call that the woman, later identified as Mandy Deane Jones, 36, of Leesburg, was running around without clothes, had flagged down a passing SUV and jumped in the back seat. By the time officers arrived, Jones was running around shirtless in the yard of her neighbor’s Layton Street home.

The driver of the SUV said Jones stopped her, slammed herself on the hood of the car and then opened the door and jumped in the back before she could lock it. The woman said Jones lunged for her purse but instead grabbed a water bottle, then jumped of the car.

Paramedics who arrived at the scene said Jones admitted she had taken methamphetamine in the last two hours. Full Story »

Florida Woman arrested after flashing her father in an argument

Jamie Lynn Elmerick

STUART — A woman accused of exposing herself before arguing about mail got locked up on a breach of peace charge, according to a Martin County Sheriff’s Office report.

Jamie Lynn Elmerick, 26, was jailed following the July 10 incident in Stuart that “outraged and horrified” her father, the report states.

Elmerick told investigators her boyfriend dropped her off at her father’s house to get some clothes that she left after moving out months earlier. She said she went to the mail box to get her mail, and her father took the mail from her hand. She said she called 911 to get it back.

Elmerick’s father, however, said Elmerick came over unannounced. He said he let her in to get her clothes “because she had broken into his home in the past and did not want her to do so again,” the report states.

He said she started yelling about family issues before dropping her pants and exposing herself to him and another man.

“(Elmerick’s father) stated he was outraged and horrified that his daughter exposed herself and had to look away because he was embarrassed by the display,” the report states.

A purpose behind the alleged showing of Elmerick’s nether regions was not listed.

Elmerick’s father said she pulled up her pants and they began quarreling about the mail.

Another man there also said Elmerick exposed herself, and that he “was disturbed and horrified that she was exposing herself like that.”

Elmerick, of Okeechobee, was arrested on a misdemeanor breach of peace charge.

Source: tcpalm.com