It’s half way through 2017, and we have already tied the 2001 record of 16 gator attacks.
If we are going to break that record and set a new Florida standard, we must do the following:
- Feed any alligators you find to make them less afraid of people
- Always be drunk when you play golf
- Always be drunk in general
- Carry a concealed weapon, allowing you to taunt the gator with no fear
- Play with any baby alligators you find
- Go swimming in lakes
- Dive for golf balls
Good luck out there, Florida People, together we can break our 2001 record of 16 gator attacks, and make 2017 the new standard.