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Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Irma is Going to Kill You and Everything You Love

This is totally not click-bait. We are totally NOT exploiting a potential natural disaster that could kill thousands of people just to boost our advertising revenue. Nobody does this, especially not big news sites.

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TOP TEN REASONS IRMA IS GOING TO FUCKING DESTROY YOU:

  1. This is Florida, bad shit happens here
  2. Hurricanes are bad, mmkay
  3. It’s a fucking storm, look out!
  4. Stock up on alcohol
  5. Hurricanes have killed before
  6. Rick Scott declared a state of emergency
  7. OMFG WE R ALL GONNA DIE
  8. We have no  basements because of the aquifer
  9. We build too close to the beach
  10. Trust me, we’re all gonna die

And now a word from our sponsors:

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Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Irma is Going to Kill You and Everything You Love

Category: Satire
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