‘Wet Willy’ Attack puts Florida Man in Jail

Fort Pierce (WTFF) – A Florida man was arrested after reportedly giving his girlfriend a “wet willy.” 47-year-old Joseph Sireci is facing a battery charge for the Aug. 15 “wet willy” attack, according to an arrest affidavit collected by TC Palm. The girlfriend told St. Lucie County sheriff’s that Sireci was drunk on the living […] »

It’s gonna be really f*cking cold in Florida; impending snow, death, mayhem

(WTFF) – Put on extra pairs of socks before you step into your sandals this week, because Florida’s gonna get really f*cking cold and we’re all gonna die*. »

St. Lucie Man tells the FBI he’s a very good bomb maker

Fort Pierce got some attention from the FBI on Thursday, Sept. 28 when they assisted St. Lucie County Sheriff’s officers with an arrest. Charles Baker merited the visit by sending an online note to the FBI claiming to be a “very good bomb maker.” They were not impressed with his self-proclaimed skills. Perhaps if he […] »

Florida Woman Punches Husband Who Interrupted Her Masturbating

flavia garrett higgs
Let’s meet Garrett and Flavia Higgs, a Port St. Lucie couple in their early 40’s. Like most Florida couples, they have issues. For over a year, they’ve been sleeping in separate beds and have been denying each other the sweet release of orgasm. The avoidance of intimacy influences human emotions with great intensity. Unless you’ve […] »

‘Kiss my ass!’ yells Fort Pierce man as he moons police

austin-young
Like many nights in Fort Pierce, police were responding to a report of a shirtless drunk man causing trouble. Austin Lee Young was found outside of an apartment, trying to get in. Apparently the man who lives at that apartment “made inappropriate statements to his wife,” according to the police report. Young said he lives […] »

Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up

Let's Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up
Dear Floridians (and everybody else), Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State. After the laughter […] »

Floridians For Freedom

fff-smokey
Only the “Right Of Adults To Cannabis” amendment can secure your RIGHT to possess, cultivate, and use cannabis in a manner similar to your 2nd amendment right to “keep and bear arms” … think about that for a minute. Whether you agree or disagree with Americans right to gun ownership, the strength of this protected […] »

Priest Pulls a Gun Out During Florida Road Rage Incident

Priest arrested in Florida road rage incident after pulling out gun
William Rian Adams, 35, was arrested in connection with a road rage incident on Florida’s Turnpike near Palm City Wednesday after pulling out a gun, according to the Florida Highway Patrol. According to an FHP report, Adams — a priest at Calvary Episcopal Church in Fletcher, N.C. — was driving a red Chevrolet Corvette when […] »

Cryo Squad Hacks St. Lucie County School District’s Twitter Page

hackers-psl
The first post said: “After heavy consideration, our district has decided to ban all African Americans from our school.” The second was a graphic picture depicting two dead men. Third was a reply to another posting stating: “removal of African Americans will boost grades 200%.” The hackers said they did this for fun: “We’re bored […] »

Florida Man does Chicken Dance to Distract Police

PORT ST. LUCIE — When stopped by Port St. Lucie police, Shane Forsythe started doing the “chicken dance.” But rather than celebrating the law enforcement encounter, police say Forsythe’s fowl jig served a foul purpose – functioning as a diversion for the passenger in his sport utility vehicle to run away, according to an arrest […] »

Florida man unplugs bounce house, trapping kids inside

A Port St. Lucie mother is peeved after a neighbor’s actions landed two children in the hospital. Deborah Romero threw a party for her daughter when all of the sudden the bounce house deflated, reports CBS 12. Nearly a dozen 2-3-year-olds were trapped inside under the hot and heavy plastic. She recalled that one child […] »

Child found chewing on used condom at school playground

Skool
FORT PIERCE, Fla. (CBS12) — A disgusting find for a local teacher led to a five-year-old child being rushed to the hospital. The teacher found the child chewing on a used condom at a playground at St. Lucie Elementary. The child’s parents went to the ER to get tests done for sexually transmitted diseases. “One of […] »

Florida Woman covered in chicken wing sauce and blue cheese gets arrested for assaulting her boyfriend

Apparently her boyfriend had been lying about how much money he was making, so this woman, Trisha Brower, shows up at the hamburger joint he works at and confronts him about the $145 difference. You see, rent was due and this live-in boyfriend of hers was holding out. After a little argument she starts walking out […] »