Florida Man Causes $100,000 Of Damage To Liquor Store Construction Site

Mathew Horace Jones

CRESTVIEW, Florida (WKRG) — According to Crestview police, a 32-year old Freeport man is in custody following a Saturday night rampage.

The rampage caused more than $100,000 in damage to the liquor store under construction at the Crestview Wal-mart and to construction equipment.

Around 9:10 p.m. the suspect, Mathew Horace Jones, used a forklift to damage the building under construction. Full Story ⤳

Florida Man Brings an Umbrella to a Gun Fight at Fort Walton Beach

umbrella-beach

FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. (WKRG) — A Florida Man used a beach umbrella to hit another Florida Man who brought a gun to the beach, and it was all caught on camera.

“This is what happens when you bring an umbrella to a gun fight,” wrote Wes Woodin in a post online.

Apparently, the man with the gun had gotten into an argument Monday with a group on the beach over a child’s toy.

“It was over a $2 inflatable octopus, and I guess he had gone under their tent and taken it,” Woodin told News 5. Full Story ⤳

Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up

Let's Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up
“Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up.”

Dear Floridians (and everybody else),

Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State. Now it’s time for an evolution. Together, we can make a difference.

We are dedicated to becoming a Karma Neutral State. We want Florida’s karmatic number to be perfectly balanced at zero. Laughing at other people’s misery brings negative karma. Doing fucked up shit brings negative karma. Helping people who have been fucked over by Florida’s insanity brings you positive karma. We are still going to make fun of everybody who shows up on this site, but we are also going to start getting more serious about fixing stupid shit.

From this point on, we will occasionally start petitions to bring about justice, and to fix things that are unfair or that defy morals. We encourage our readers to help, not only by signing and sharing these petitions, but to also create them yourselves and to contact your representatives when appropriate. Please contact us if you have an issue that is important to you.

Send us info about your non-profit group or activism group, and we will try to get you more views (if you don’t mind being associated with us). Use the Contact page and let us know what you’re about.

Help us help our state. Let’s work together for the greater good. Let’s make Florida slightly less fucked up.

 

 

Valparaiso man charged with sexually molesting horse

VALPARAISO — A 26-year-old Valparaiso man is facing multiple charges in connection with the molestation of a horse.

Darius Galloway of Okaloosa Avenue is charged with sexual activities involving animals, burglary of an unoccupied structure and petit theft. Burglary is a felony, while the two other charges are misdemeanors.

According to an arrest report from the Valparaiso Police Department, on April 25, the owner of Athena, a female horse that boards at a stable on Valparaiso Parkway, noticed oil on the horse’s rump. On June 20, the owner again observed oil on the horse, as well as a visible handprint in the oil.

A week later, on June 27, the horse’s owner notified the owner of the stable that she had again noticed oil on the equine’s rump, as well as a white substance she believed to be semen on the horse’s vagina, the report said. A trail camera was set up in the stable as a result. Full Story ⤳

Florida Woman grabs deputy’s crotch, won’t let go

cop-outfit

CRESTVIEW – A woman who grabbed a deputy’s crotch and refused to let go was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer and simple assault.

The 35-year-old Crestview woman, whose house was too cluttered to allow officers to enter safely, also armed herself with a hammer before coming out of the house.

Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputies had gone to the home on Sandy Lane after getting a report about a disturbance.

The suspect was in her bedroom, but deputies noted that “excessive clutter” kept them from going in. Full Story ⤳

Floridians For Freedom

fff-smokey

Only the “Right Of Adults To Cannabis” amendment can secure your RIGHT to possess, cultivate, and use cannabis in a manner similar to your 2nd amendment right to “keep and bear arms” … think about that for a minute.

Whether you agree or disagree with Americans right to gun ownership, the strength of this protected right is clear and viewed my many as absolute. Floridians For Freedom​ believes adults right to whole plant cannabis should be comparable and hopes you agree. Full Story ⤳

Florida Mom arrested after cops find her child in a dog kennel

Meet Carrie Richburg, arrested for child neglect. This Holt resident was “cursing in a loud voice at unseen persons in trees” when the cops showed up, so apparently she was tripping balls throughout this whole ungracefully tragic Florida drama:

This is all started when Carrie got into an argument with her other white trash neighbor about white trash stuff. Carrie Richburg did what any Floridian would do, and set her 16-month-old child down in the middle of the road so she go bitch mode (the remnants of which can seen in the photo)

Carrie Richburg

So now that her kid was strategically placed in the middle of street, she could continue to bitch at her neighbor, un-intruded by the pesky boy-thing. This slowly began to gather some attention, and someone eventually called the cops.

While this loud, obnoxious confrontation was taking place, our brave trailer-baby crawled to safety into a dog kennel, 100 feet away on a neighboring property.

The mom refused to get the child once the cops showed up, so deputies went to pick him up and found that the toddler was covered in ant bites from being inside the dog kennel.

Richburg was charged with a felony count of child neglect and a misdemeanor for “disturbing the peace…”

Disturbing, yes.

Okaloosa County, she put you on the map.