Okaloosa Archives - WTF Florida?

Topless Florida Woman Bicycling Down Center of Highway Arrested for Stealing Flip Flops

Okaloosa Island (WTFF) – A Florida Woman seen bicycling topless down the center of Highway 98 turned out to be a shoplifting suspect making her getaway. »

Homeless Florida Man’s Delusional Vandalism Spree Makes Great Headlines

Okaloosa Island (WTFF) – A homeless man with apparent mental illness was arrested for reportedly vandalizing at least twenty cars in a parking lot, resulting in a mass media click-bait frenzy. »

Florida Man Pranks Sleeping 9-Year-Old Girl with Firecrackers

Crestview (WTFF) – A Florida man was arrested after reportedly lighting firecrackers under a sleeping child’s bed. »

Pair try stealing from ATM using blow torch, weld it together instead

Okaloosa County (WTFF) – Deputies are looking for a pair of men who tried to rob an ATM machine with a blow torch, but ended up welding it together. »

Florida Man, High on Meth, Stabs Mattress in Jealous Fit

Fort Walton Beach (WTFF) – A meth smoking Florida man was arrested after reportedly stabbing a mattress. »

Florida Man Opens Business Where Customers Can Get Drunk and Throw Axes

Fort Walton Beach (WTFF) – A new business is opening downtown that allows Floridians to drink alcohol and throw axes at a wall. »

Elementary Students Almost Die after Resource Officer Loses Her Gun

Written by: Huffmeister Schnitzelberger A resource officer at Elliot Point Elementary School stupidly left her deadly gun in the bathroom. »

School Officer Makes Innocent Mistake, Liberals Freak Out About a Forgotten Gun

Written by: Irvine Bernard Wyatt Liberals are always looking for a way to take away our guns. This incident will add more ammo to their attack on our Second Amendment rights. »

School Resource Officer Leaves Her Gun in the Bathroom

Okaloosa County (WTFF) – An elementary school resource officer accidentally left her service weapon in a faculty bathroom. »

One-Armed Florida Man Steals Car from Whataburger, Crashes It, Blames Disability

Navarre (WTFF) – A man with one arm allegedly stole a vehicle from a Whataburger in Fort Walton Beach and later crashed it. »

Steak Salesman Steals a Box from a Porch

Walton County (WTFF) – Florida Man was arrested after a witness identified him as the man who stole a package from the victim’s porch. »

It’s gonna be really f*cking cold in Florida; impending snow, death, mayhem

(WTFF) – Put on extra pairs of socks before you step into your sandals this week, because Florida’s gonna get really f*cking cold and we’re all gonna die*. »

Florida Man Moves to Bali, Chases a Monkey, Falls off Roof

Jeff “Swede” Swedenhjelm is a 21-year-old Florida Man from Destin. Several years ago he moved to Bali, but Florida never left him. »

2017 Christmas Card

Don’t worry about buying Christmas cards this year, we did all the work for you. Share the Florida Christmas spirit via Puddles, the plastered possum from the Panhandle. »

Florida Possum Breaks into Liquor Store and Gets Drunk on Cognac

Fort Walton Beach (WTFF) – An oppossum that got drunk on bourbon after breaking into a Florida liquor store had to sober up at a wildlife rescue center. »

Niceville Woman Tells Cops She Smokes Meth to “Help Her Stay Awake”

Niceville (WTFF) – A woman who was pulled over for a faulty tail light told officers that she smokes meth “occasionally” to “help her stay awake,” after they found paraphernalia. »

Florida teens arrested for stabbing a boy in the face with a chicken bone

OKALOOSA COUNTY, Fla. (WEAR) — Two teens being detained at the Department of Juvenile Justice were arrested for a violent attack on a fellow detainee. The victim told investigators he was stabbed in the face with a chicken bone while being attacked by 15-year-olds Dakota James Davis and John Horak III. »

Stolen Bacon Leads to an Altercation in Waffle House

Nothing sane ever happens in a Waffle House, it’s basically just a place where people go to sober up via carbs. Nothing proper ever happens in North Florida, it’s basically just lower Alabama. So, when you combine these two forces, they reverse polarity and create something amazing… Take for instance, this drunk 28-year-old man in […] »

Florida Man takes a dump in a parking lot

CRESTVIEW, Fla. (WFLA) – A mysterious pooper was caught on camera relieving himself outside of a Florida business. »

Florida Man Causes $100,000 Of Damage To Liquor Store Construction Site

Jones stated his name was “Alice Wonderland and he was told to commit the offenses by a hookah-smoking caterpillar.” »

Florida Boy rolls through stop sign on bike, is threatened with Taser

The use of a taser is demonstrated as part of the internal affairs committee at the state police school in Berlin, Germany, 18 November 2013. A meeting of the internal affairs committee of the Berlin Abgeordnetenhaus is taking place parallel at the same time on the school premises. Photo by: Rainer Jensen/picture-alliance/dpa/AP Images

NICEVILLE – A 14-year-old boy who rolled through a stop sign on his bike, and then failed to stop for law enforcement officers ditched his bike and fled on foot. »

Florida Man Brings an Umbrella to a Gun Fight at Fort Walton Beach

FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. (WKRG) — A Florida Man used a beach umbrella to hit another Florida Man who brought a gun to the beach, and it was all caught on camera. “This is what happens when you bring an umbrella to a gun fight,” wrote Wes Woodin in a post online. Apparently, the man […] »

Let’s Make Florida Slightly Less Fucked Up

Dear Floridians (and everybody else), Florida’s a fucked up place. From animal abusers to angry ex-cops to Zimmerman to horse fuckers, we have plenty of issues. WTF Florida is your source for these fucked up news articles, and we encourage hysterical laughter at the zany headlines coming out of the Gunshine State. After the laughter […] »

Valparaiso man charged with sexually molesting horse

Charges include sexual activities involving animals, burglary of an unoccupied structure and petit theft. »

Florida Woman grabs deputy’s crotch, won’t let go

CRESTVIEW – A woman who grabbed a deputy’s crotch and refused to let go was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer and simple assault. The 35-year-old Crestview woman, whose house was too cluttered to allow officers to enter safely, also armed herself with a hammer before coming out of the house. Okaloosa County […] »

Floridians For Freedom

Only the “Right Of Adults To Cannabis” amendment can secure your RIGHT to possess, cultivate, and use cannabis in a manner similar to your 2nd amendment right to “keep and bear arms” … think about that for a minute. Whether you agree or disagree with Americans right to gun ownership, the strength of this protected […] »

Florida drug dealer calls 911 to report missing cocaine

His cocaine was stolen. So this Florida man called the cops... »

Niceville man leads deputies on car chase through hay field

CRESTVIEW — A Niceville man on felony probation led a Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputy on a chase through a hay field early Wednesday morning after he was caught speeding. »

Arsonist(s) burn ‘little library’ full of books in Niceville

The hunt for this idiot, or group of idiots, is still on. This happened in Niceville FL, in the Bluewater Bay subdivision, between 1/27 and 1/28. If anyone has information that leads to arrest, please contact the police. Source: https://imgur.com/gallery/HaLRT »

Florida Mom arrested after cops find her child in a dog kennel

Meet Carrie Richburg, arrested for child neglect. This Holt resident was “cursing in a loud voice at unseen persons in trees” when the cops showed up, so apparently she was tripping balls throughout this whole ungracefully tragic Florida drama: This is all started when Carrie got into an argument with her other white trash neighbor […] »